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SHAY'S JOURNAL

Mommy of angel Shiloh

May 2013

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WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/GLOVER.SHAY

Jan 29, 2012 09:36am (EST)

Add me. & I'll accept.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (4) | Permalink

PHILIPIANS 4-7

Jan 27, 2012 09:00am (EST)

It's about time I've gotten back to church. Since I lost Shiloh last year, I've slowly but surely been working on my relationship w God.

Meanwhile I love Christian, he's givin me a reason to live again. And now that's he is here I am forced to work on my own issues. Scary.

Things have changed dramatically between my bd & myself. Or maybe I've grown & realized I deserve better things in life. It hurts my heart , I wanna be a fam but I guess things change.

But anyways I was listening to Pandora and Fred Hammond's song philipians 4-7 was playing....chills..chills

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (2) | Permalink

ANGEL ANNIVERSARY

Jan 17, 2012 07:18am (EST)

Shilohs 1st bday was on the 15 ... Wow that time speed by...not emotionally. But we took a trip back to charlottesville. It was nice, its the first time since she's been gone that it didn't feel awkward.

Christian was smiling a whoolllllle lot is was beautiful.. she must have been talking to him lol

I love how far I've come & I love my son. The days dont get easier to me I'm just more accepting to what is & what is not.

Life is far from perfect some things get better as some things get worse but I pray to God for the strength that he has given before.

I'm getting off track lol this weekend was lovely. Happy first birthday my babydoll. Mommy loves you. <3

Pictures :

shy

POLO SHAWDDY

IMAG0278

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (5) | Permalink

MOTHERHOOD LOL

Dec 09, 2011 06:06pm (EST)

Its crazy to see thats he's finally here. After losing Shiloh to knowing that I wanted to be a mom again to going through an emotional pregnancy.

Birth story:

The last week was going by extra slow so i was doin everything..eating spicy foods..general tso chicken..taking baths.. && so early in the morning I was talking to God.
Expressing all my worries & fears & just being grateful for what he has done. So I sayed " Im not going to rush the process when he comes he comes "

5:30 AM LAYING IN THE BED. I FELT HIS HEAD PUSH DOWN & WATER STARTED LEAKING.. THEN A RUSH OF WATER!

Thankfully i was with my parents & we drove about 20 mins to my doctors hospital. They checked me I was 2cms. They admitted me..i started walking & bouncing on the birth ball they gave me pitocin to increase my contractions . Every 2 hours I was dilating 2 centimeters. They checked me and said were going to start puching & at 10:01 pm he came out cryin & hungry!

7 pounds 14 oz 20.4 inches

Now hes 8 lbs 11 oz 23 inches not even 2 weeks later. lol blessed.

This picture is off my nephew & christian. Im thankful that my nephew was born before my son came here. He helped in mending the gap from Shiloh to Christian.

He looks just like his dad his eyes are getting light just like him too lol

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Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

MY BABY IS HERE.

Dec 04, 2011 11:24am (EST)

Christian David!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so blessed.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (7) | Permalink

POSITIVITY

Nov 04, 2011 09:22am (EST)

I had one of THOSE sh*tty nights the other night. Missed my appt because I stayed up most of the night crying lol which is good.

My crying has changed...i dont feel as bitter (i guess the word is) when im in this zone..i feel warmth like a glow..i guess I feel peace. Shilohs peace.

BUT i made this post because I was thinking how powerful laughter is SOMETIMES. I have a list of shows that tend to life my spirits:

Its always sunny in Phili..
The Office
Rob& Big.
Marilyn Monroe movies

Its okay to smile its okay to cry!

-Shay

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

2ND PREGNANCY LIFE

Oct 22, 2011 08:31pm (EST)

Wow i cant believe how well things have been progressing & how i only have about a month left! All praise to God.

Its been an emotional rollercoaster but I feel stronger for it..I find myself thinking more about Shiloh since its almost that time.

Im losing sleep though 1) Back to back pregnancies have a toll on your body plus he has already surpassed what Shiloh weighed at her birth.
2) Im anxious about L&D. Im delivering no where near where I did before..they catered to all my needs because they knew what I was going through. So EVERYTHINGS new.

But that comes with the territory I guess. Im excited and still scared lol but hopfull.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (4) | Permalink

UNCOMFORTABLE PHASE

Oct 02, 2011 10:01pm (EST)

This pregnancy has been going so well & I've gotten use to the fact that its actually possible for things to be normal,

Now that my nephew has finally entered this world I am in a WHOLE NEW spin of emotions. Im doing so much better than I thought I would but boy I feel out of place..

But Im also glad that his here before my baby is here because Ive realized it will be a new emotions to come..I guess I will have to take it slow & accept this uncomfortable phase.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (2) | Permalink

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU?

Sep 07, 2011 12:44pm (EST)

I'm at this point where I realized I have to start progressing for myself. I've shutdown in a lot of ways since Shiloh passed. I had a long talk with my dad & he said something that I'm holding on to : Shiloh is taken care of, she is good...shes waitin for us. Now it's time for you to work on you.

And he's right.

So I was just wondering what are some things you guys do to not let go but to transition into a new life ??

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (4) | Permalink

TWO LIVES TO LIVE

Aug 13, 2011 09:23am (EST)

sometimes I wish God could see that I'm really not as strong as a person that he thinks I am. Maybe my life would be different.

I had to grow up so fast after from being pregnant to graduating highschool to losing a child...im not even 20 yet. I've lost so many friends, I really don't have any. And it hurts, I guess I just realized today how much it hurts.

I feel like my fam forgets my life & by that I mean what a struggle it still is to try to get through the day
I think losing your own flesh and blood is the worse possible thing that can happen. You feel empty and completely defeated and so I know now why I feel so "weak" around everybody else
(which is good) because for the life of me didnt understand why.
sometimes I have days where it doesn't feel like that was "me" who lost a child that was a whole different me. I just wish I was understood sometimes.

Posted by Mommy of angel Shiloh | Comments: (3) | Permalink

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