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WELCOME, GUEST |
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(1 member)
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niylnnrae @a…6 |
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MY ANGEL LOVE
Angel Love |
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| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
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PICKED UP
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Jun 02, 2011 02:21am (EST)
No, not like that......
My Share friends have onces again surrounded me when I needed it most. Last week, I received the news of school transfer. This transfer means much, much more than just a new faculty and staff.....most of which I don't want to get into on this blog, but my heart is still so heavy with this change.
In the midst of the news, I was suppose to be going to New York to meet with James and Jackie regarding some things about Share. New York is the last place that I wanted to be....I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry instead, but my email started filling up and each one from a different Share friend who just wanted me to know that I was in their thoughts. Did it change the news?? NOPE, but it helps to know that others are with you when things just suck!
I got on a plane when my old classroom was not even close to being ready to move, and headed to NY. I was greeted with a hug by Jackie first thing and soon afterwards, James. My idea was to live for 4 days in this "foreign land" and forget about what was happening in my small town life. It was just what I needed...
A short time after landing, I was face to face (or face to feet) with James' adorable boys and was learning about every character from Super Why. Seriously, these two are absolutely amazing!!
The following day Jackie and I were reunited with some SU friends who are on staff at the MOD office. Let me tell you that they're working hard on making all of the websites for March of Dimes better for everyone....including us, however this all takes time.....and tons of BRAIN POWER!! Again, thank you Judy, Michelle, and Liza for all that you do!!
From White Plains, we headed to Manhattan! Along the way, we find out that it's Fleet Week.....Marines and Sailors everywhere!!! That makes any city look great!  After walking a million miles, Jackie and I only saw half the city before meeting up with Jessica, her hubby and the beautiful Maddie for lunch! It took all of 2 minutes for Keith to comment about my accent, but hey---that's how it goes. 
I will spare you the ticky details of our trip, but know that being in a city that I've only seen on TV and hanging out with friends that I met because my daughters were born early helped to focus my overwelmed brain in a different direction. I definately needed that....even though reality was only a plane ride back.
It sounds like I'm saying this with every post, but THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for being a group of friends that are there for me whether it's a situation with Ansley or a situation with me. You'll never know how much that means to me. 
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink
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TO TOP IT ALL OFF....
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May 24, 2011 09:59pm (EST)
......I'm having to transfer to another elementary school....NOT by choice! I'm SO upset about this!!!
The school is a good school and has a great faculty and staff, but Ansley does NOT need another change in her life right now and I've fought to keep things steady for her and now this.....
I've cried all day long and don't know how I'm suppose to deal with this. I feel like, yet again, something is happening to me---to add to the long, long list of what's already happened. My heart is sooo...heavy right now!
Please pray that there will be someone to come forward and volunteer to go to this school in my place.
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink
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UNBELIEVABLE
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May 19, 2011 02:35am (EST)
Several things have happened in my life or community lately that can only be labeled as "unbelievable". Some are good and some, not so good.
Ansley has 2 more days of school. She's super excited that her school year is done, but with that comes the pain in my stomach that reminds me that she's going to be in 3rd grade next year!!!! When did that happen?? It's "unbelievable" how fast time is passing.....
My county has been hit hard with the economic down turn. The federal and state governments continue to cut budgets and with that comes more and more cuts to education. We're required to do more with less, but nobody sees that when they've never worked in a school system. Last week we found out that after months of long, long meetings and tears, the board voted on several changes for our school system. We'll be working 4-day weeks, have no local supplement, and 10 furlough days next year. On top of that....25 people in the system will not be offered a contract for next school year. Unbelievable! My hearts go out to the families who were affected by these cuts. I just can't imagine.
I will be finishing my Master's program at the end of June. The final project/class is the Capstone. The Capstone consist of a paper, a notebook, and a presentation to share with the class and the professors on the panel how much I've learned during the courses. It's a pass/fail mission. Easy, right?? Think again---the presentation date is June 27th. (Taylor's death date)---UNBELIEVABLE!!!! It's one thing when I can choose what I do on that day, but to know that I have to do this is a bit overwelming at the time. Deep breath in........
Needless to say, after all of these things happening my brain is a bit "busy". It's hard to concentrate on one thing for long because there's so much going on in there.
Hugs to you all, and I hope that you all have an "unbelievable" rest of the week and weekend!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (8) | Permalink
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M4B AND MOTHER'S DAY 2011
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May 10, 2011 01:04am (EST)
For those of you who don't know, I live in a very small town. You know, like everybody knows everybody....and everything (or so they think). Our March for Babies participation has fluctuated through the years and has taken a hit with the economy like everything else. This year, we decided to try a new day and new format to see how it would work for our community.
I'm happy to report that it worked great!!! Yes, we did our walk on a Friday night, but it went very well! Families wanted "something to do" together and came out to walk with us!! The weather was great, and our counties met our goal!!!  This year, I had taken more of a "follower" roll and allowed my rep and the revenue chair to make some decisions, and it really worked well for us!! Thanks Andi and Jennifer!!! 
Now for Mother's Day--------
It's still hard..... I remember how happy I was on Mother's Day 2003. My belly was big and round and both girls were happily playing inside. Two weeks later, I was admitted to the hosptial where I would live for the next 6 weeks until their arrival. I would never have another Mother's Day with both girls alive.
On Saturday we took my mom out to eat and yesterday Ansley and I went to church and spent some time enjoying the beautiful weather at home. It was a day that was needed....just a quiet day.
I did get some pretty amazing gifts though! Ansley "bought" (with my mom's money) a hanging basket and another plant for me. I love flowers and enjoying "diddling" with them in the yard when I'm home so I was super excited to add to my mini collection. My BEST gift was what Ansley taught herself during the M4B walk ......
SHE TAUGHT HERSELF TO RIDE A BIKE!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong...I've tried for several years now to teach her to ride a bike. (without training wheels) She's an analyzer and would sit forever on that bike worrying about what might happen if she fell or didn't put her feet down. I do mean "forever!!" On Friday, she wanted to know why my nephew had his bike at the walk and why she couldn't have hers. I simply said, "Because you don't know how to ride yours yet." That's all it took! She "threw" my nephew off of his and the next thing I knew, she was riding across the field ALL BY HERSELF!!!!
Seriously, I was screaming and jumping up and down like someone had just given me a million dollars!!! My baby was riding her bike!!!! She thinks I'm crazy because I made such a big deal out of it, but hey---I think it's awesome that she's conquered her fears and just started pedaling!!! It was a gift that she could've never planned and it was perfect!!
I hope that all of you were able to remember and honor your child/children in a special way, whether it was a quiet day that included some tears or a day full of laughter. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!
T
Pics will be next time......
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (8) | Permalink
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EASTER SUNDAY
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Apr 25, 2011 01:33am (EST)
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!
Easter Sunday....It means something different to everyone. To me it means a gift that is unbelievable....one that can never be repeated and never be taken away.
I often times think about how much I LOVE Ansley! Sometimes, it "hurts" because I want everything for her and can't give it all to her. I want to protect her from every harm and heartbreak, but I can't....therefore it "hurts". I hurt when she hurts, I'm sad when she's sad....I could go on and on. I say this to bring the conversation back to what Easter Sunday is all about....
God gave His ONLY son to come to earth and face all of the sadness, hurt, pain, grief, etc. that we all feel and then He was led to the cross for nothing. He was beaten, tortured, mocked, etc. for no earthly reason. At any time, God could've said, "That's my son and you're not worth it." and saved him from all of those things. He could've gone back to Heaven and never had to deal with anything, but God didn't do that. He allowed His son to go through all of that so that I have an opportunity to live an eternal life in Heaven. He literally had to turn his back on his son for me.
I've lost a daughter, I know the pain of letting her go. I can't imagine how much He has to love me to give his Son for ME. I'm so undeserving and what an unbelievable gift!!!
Our Easter included family and friends, egg hunts, and cookouts....naps and of course, school work. I hope that all of you had a wonderful Easter and took the time to think of the unbelievable gift that was given for you and the One who rose again on the third day!!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (5) | Permalink
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AAAAHHHHHHHH........
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Apr 21, 2011 08:37pm (EST)
That's the sound of a teacher after CRCT testing and a week with a full moon!! 
Seriously, the schedule for the last two weeks has been crazy due to the testing. Students needed those last minute refreshers, but yet also needed time to just relax. That concept is hard for 4th graders to grasp though.... No schedule means chaos in their little brains and chaos means NOISE!
Yesterday we finished the last of the "dreaded" CRCT and today was the last day of school for the week....which means parties for Easter/CRCT Celebration. Needless to say, I'm so happy that I'm off tomorrow and the students won't return until Tuesday!
Why is this typed here??? I don't know, but it's too long to just delete now so if I don't show up much this weekend....you'll understand why! 
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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PRAISE GOD!!!
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Apr 14, 2011 12:56am (EST)
Last week, I wrote about a friend of mine's granddaughter, Clara. I was destroyed because another family had been told that there were no other medical options, and that they needed to prepare to say "goodbye".
God had other plans for this little girl! The future is still uncertain for her, but for this past week, her life has touched so many!!! It's just like our community here on Share....a friend, of a friend, of a friend is praying for her and her family.
Today--Clara was taken off of ECMO oxygen for 36 minutes and kept her sats. at 96 or above for the entire time....WITH ONLY GOD'S HELP!!!
I don't tend to push my beliefs on anyone, but simply choose to live my life as an example and share my story to allow others to see God's love through me. There is no other explanation of why this little girl is still living and improving except for God's hand.
Do I wonder why Clara, and not Taylor, yes....that's an earthly momma missing her little girl and very natural! I do, however, realize how many lives were changed by Taylor's life even though it was only 15 hours long. I'm very thankful for the 15 hours that I did have, and the opportunity to see her with my own eyes. What a gift!! Many lives are still being changed today when they see the hope that I have knowing that I have accepted Christ as my Savior and KNOW that I will see her again in Heaven. Without that knowledge, I don't know how I could make it through my daily life without her.
I say all of this to not lift myself up, but simply to give credit where credit is due....God is God, and God is Good.....sometimes we can't see the good at the present time, but when we feel love, peace, comfort, and friendship....He's there in the midst!
Thank you for praying for Sweet Clara! I know her family feels the strength that comes from being surrounded in prayer. It not only means a lot to them, but to me as well, because when I knew of the situation, I knew where to go for support and prayers---Share!
Love ya'll!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK
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Apr 10, 2011 12:41am (EST)
This week has brought beautiful weather and much warmer temps.  Figures....it happens every year on our spring break. It's okay though because rain, shine, cold, or hot....spring break means that I don't have to go to work! This week back was definately a challenge though...
The biggest challenge is that as I follow the progress of Baby Clara, my heart breaks for her family. Her grandmother works with me. Through all of this, the medical terms and what's "really" going on has them all confused. Most of you remember those moments of total confusion regarding what was happening with your little one and why they were taking the steps that they were taking at the moment.
You know, the moments that you think that when that one thing gets "fixed" that everything will get better only to find out that there are 50 other things that have to follow that before your child is "well" and able to come home...... That's where they are.
On Wednesday, Clara's parents called their parents to the hospital because the news of Clara's well being was not good. They didn't know how much longer her little body would tolerate life and if they'd need to make the dreaded decision.
I didn't know that they'd called the grandparents, but one of my very thoughtful co-workers asked me to step into her classroom. She closed the door and told me what was going on because she didn't want me to find out in passing news from the hallway. She understands how difficult this whole situation is for me..... It's strange that someone who has not gone through such a situation would stop to think how it would make someone who has feel. For her efforts in protecting my heart....I'm thankful!
The updates later in the week from Clara has been a bit more positive. In the dr's words, "On Wednesday, she was standing on the edge of a cliff. Today she's take a quarter of a step back." I remember our drs. talking about that cliff.... Taylor was way too close to the edge for them to catch her in time, but Ansley turned and walked away. Clara's parents were overjoyed with that news even though a quarter of a step is not a whole lot. I'm thankful that they can experience that tiny moment of joy without being fooled into thinking it's all over now.
Please continue to pray for Sweet Clara! She's loved *SO* much by everyone who knows her and more. Her parents are such sweet caring people who are trying to make every moment count with Clara knowing that those moments will never come again and that the future moments are questionable at this time.
I appreciate your thoughts and prayers for them as many of you have been there and know exactly the emotions that are running through every inch of their bodies at this time.
Hugs to you all!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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SPRING BREAK AND WINTER TEMPS
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Mar 29, 2011 12:32am (EST)
I made it!!! It's spring break.....finally!
Sometimes I'm amazed at how much one can really need a break. I feel like my brain is too full to think sometimes, and therefore, it's time for a break!
Our temperatures have been in the 80's the past few weeks and the weather beautiful. This past weekend gave us highs in the 40's with rain---  I want to be bummed by that since my plans were to work in the yard and enjoy being outside, but my reframe is this---at least I don't have to go to work!!
In other news....tis the season that I feel the "funk" approaching again. It usually happens around Christmas for obvious reasons, but spring and summer are just as hard. The time when kids are playing ball and playing in the sun. When I have more time with Ansley and wish so much that Taylor was here with us. I want to have that playmate here for Ansley. I want to marvel at their differences even though they're identical. I know that it's been almost 8 years since the girls' birth and Taylor's death, but it's still tough.
I think that the birth of my friend's daughter has brought back so many memories. Her daughter was diagnosed at 18 weeks gest. with a herniated diaphram. They weren't sure what this would be for Baby Clara, but were urged to continue to love her and plan for her arrival. She was born at 8 lbs. 4 oz. --full term! That's great news, but with the organs being out of place, her body quickly tired out and she needed the help of ECMO for rest. This is common for CDH babies, but difficult for her parents to stomach. She's responding well and the drs. are pleased with her progress, but the prayers are still needed. Hopefully she will continue to do well enough that they can get to her surgery this week and get those organs back in the right place. I hear updates of her parents reading to her and singing to her. I see the things that they planned to do for her while she was in the NICU (since they knew ahead of time) and I wish that I'd had those precious moments with Taylor before she died. I was just so shocked by the whole situation that I didn't do half of what I could have done to cherish the memories for either girls' early moments. I don't remember a lot of it myself and sometimes that eats at me.
I'm trying to get myself motivated with something to keep my mind occupied so that I don't crash for the season, but with the weather turning cold again, I'm facing the challenge of getting off the couch again. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as well as Baby Clara. It's tough!
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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink
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