Have you seen the "realistic" preemie doll by Ashton-Drake????

Wow!! I don't think my girls have cheeks like that to this day and they are soon to be 4!

Karri, mom to:
Ian 2-11-99 (38 weeks)
Hanna & Rachel 2-24-01 (25 weeks)
Will 7-14-03 (36 weeks--13 weeks bedrest)

I am not very happy about this doll that you've brought to my attention. I'm hoping that when you find the address for the company you could share it here as well. I'm trying to find it myself, but can't get past CollectiblesToday, I wasn't sure if this was the right place for the actual manufacturer of the doll. Thank you for bringing this to our attention...I'm sure there are some other mom's here that would like to speak their mind about it.

Maybe if the proceeds went to March of Dimes?

January 23, 2005

Mr. D. Vaccarello, Ms. S. Johnson, Mr. D. James and Ms. N. Wortman,

I am writing in response to your advertisement for “Little Grace” the “most lifelike preemie doll ever!”. I am saddened, horrified and sickened by this “Truly Real Early Arrival” doll. I feel that your company, along with artist Tinneke, is capitalizing on the misconception of prematurity. This doll is a far-cry from lifelike, nor is it anything close to realistic. Preemie babies do not have “folds and creases”.

If you would like to make a doll to honor these tiny preemie babies, who in reality spend the first months of their lives struggling to survive, then perhaps you should make “Little Grace” look like a preemie baby. Besides the accessory of the “hospital bracelet”, she should also come with tubes down her throat to breathe for her, since her tiny underdeveloped lungs are incapable of doing so. She should also have a PICC line to deliver medicines to prevent bacteria from taking over her frail body. Please don’t forget her IV tubes which deliver nourishment and hydration since a preemie baby doesn’t have the coordination to suck, swallow and breathe at the same time. I would also consider adding a “realistic looking” monitor which will make sure her blood-oxygen level isn’t too dangerously low to prevent brain damage, blindness or possible deafness. Don’t forget to add in the instructions that her new mommy and daddy will not be able to hold her for weeks, because her underdeveloped nervous system will make her nerves raw at every touch. Remind the new parents that they will spend months at the hospital, for many hours a day, at their new baby’s bedside hoping that the lasting effects of being a preemie baby won’t leave her mentally or physically handicapped in any capacity. Please include hope that they will not have to bury her if the doctors are unable to resuscitate her and that the braid bleed she incurred as a result of low oxygen will eventually dissipate on its own. Also, would you kindly include resources for a physical therapist, occupational therapist and a great pediatrician since most premature babies require months, if not years, of special care upon release from the hospital? Kindly remind the new mommy and daddy to contact their insurance company because the medical care of their new baby may easily approach one million dollars during their hospital stay alone.

If you think that I am exaggerating to make a point I can promise that I am not. This is the reality of a premature baby. I imagine the customers of The Ashton-Drake Galleries expect the very best from your company. You owe it to them to give them reality, rather than create a false pretense of what it means to be a premature baby. The pink, chubby, healthy looking baby you advertise is not representative of a preemie baby. It is not “lifelike” “authentic” or “So Truly Real”; to state that it is cheapens the battle these babies endure. The fact is that prematurity effects 1 out of every 8 births in America. Many parents never get to bring their babies home from the hospital, others must wait months to do so. I noticed your company is located in Niles, Illinois. Did you know that EVERY WEEK in your state 436 babies are born too soon, 78 of them extremely premature? Did you also know that recent long-term studies show that 80% of those extremely premature babies will have marked handicaps that may include (but are not limited to) cerebral palsy, mental retardation, chronic lung disease, blindness and hearing loss? Prematurity is now the leading cause of death in newborns under a month old. (source, March of Dimes).

You can not undo the damage you’ve done by suggesting that Little Grace is an authentic, realistic portrayal of a preemie baby. You could, however, consider making amends by doing your research. Organizations supporting premature babies, such as March of Dimes (www.marchofdimes.com) or Children’s Miracle Network (www.cmn.org) would gladly accept some of the profits you’re making from exploiting these children.

In the future, I hope a reputable company such as yours would reconsider trying to make a profit from such a tragic condition. Consumers find this act disgusting and extremely offensive.

Most sincerely,
(me)

*****************************************************

Dear Valued Client,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns regarding "May God Bless You, Little Grace Lifelike Baby Doll."

We certainly did not intend to offend anyone with this depiction of a premature baby. As not all babies start out on equal footing, this doll is meant to represent a celebration of life. Thanks to the advances in medical treatment, and the loving care of parents and family, there are most often happy, healthy babies.

Thank you again for contacting us as we always appreciate your comments. Please respond to this email if we may be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

James Hunnington
collectiblestoday.com Customer Service

*****************************************************

Mr. Hunnington,
Yes, you may be of further assistance. Surely my letter deserves more than a standard form letter response. Yours was a calculated response. Obviously your company cares more about making a profit than the thousands of letters you have and/or will be receiving about this doll. Please be aware that this doll is the subject matter of two preemie parent online support groups. For every letter you receive, hundreds more mothers sit silently; too hurt and heartbroken to come up with any words.

I would guess you wouldn't dare create a "Cerebral Palsy Baby" doll or a "Blind Baby" doll. If that hits a raw nerve with you as being horribly shocking and insensitive, perhaps now you understand how this "Little Grace preemie baby" feels to the parent of a real preemie baby.

You state in your response, Mr. Hunnington, that "there are most often happy, healthy babies". This is true of full-term babies. Thanks to great medical care, prenatal care, and educated parents most full-term babies are indeed happy, healthy babies. However, that statement is FALSE in regards to preterm infants. Premature babies are not healthy and I would sincerely argue they are happy about the constant needles, tubes and surgeries they require.

Why must you continue to have the doll on the market? If your artist, Tinneke, wants to keep her available to consumers, so be it. Remarket her as a full term baby. No one is arguing that she isn't cute, adorable and realistic looking as a FULL TERM INFANT. She is clearly well-crafted. She is NOT a preemie baby. I urge your company to do the right thing and discontinue Grace as a preemie baby. Ashton-Drake Galleries is doing a huge injustice to public opinion on this tragic condition. You are undoing years of work in attempts to educate people. I have contacted the BBB in Northern Illinois in response to the Ashton-Drake Galleries' attempt to ignore the pleas of parents of preemies.

Do not send a pre-drafted form letter in response to this email. It only further insults me.

Dear Logan's Mom,

I heartily agree that this doll is a slap in the face to the parents who have survived the the preemie experience. If my Alex, Ben, Callie, or Donovan had looked so adorable and healthy at 1 pound 2 ounces or 1 pound 8 ounces...I would have danced on the rooftops. Instead, during our 3 and 1/2 month stay, I buried one child, prayed over babies with infections, struggled over every difficult decision preemie parents are forced to make, heard over and over all of the things that were possibley long term wrong with with my children, endured all of the procedures, sat through surgeries, wondered how on earth we were going to pay for all of their medicinal needs, and on and on and on....

Your letter was brillant and like a postcard in how you portrayed the real preemie experience. Thank you for advocating on behalf of our preemie children. Thank you for not giving up. I am sure many moms will follow your wonderful example.

Melissa (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *deceased*, Ben, Callie, and Donovan...now 19 and 1/2 months old)

Logan's Mom,

That is a very well thought inspiring letter that you wrote.Yes that doll upset me as well when I clicked onto the link.My daughter never looked like that,even when she came home after her 108 day NICu stay,she weighed 4 1/2 lbs,and her cheeks have never been that chubby ever,and she is now 5 years old.

My daughter weighed 405 grams at birth,which is a little under 15 oz.Talk about being scared to my wit's end when I first saw her,and like you said I could not hole her until she was 6 1/2 weeks old because like you said her nervous system was still too raw to touch,and her coloring?My mother likened her to the "Gingerbread Man" because she was so dark from the blood coursing through her thin transparent skin.

I thank you for writing that letter you have spoke so eloquently words that I could never say.However if you need any of us to write a letter in reply please do not hesitate to ask,my email address is behind my name,I will also post about that doll on another preemie board that I post on,at this point all I feel we can do is just spread the word,and ask whoever we send this to to spread the word around too.

Take care and good luck,and keep us updated.Thank you again.

Deborah,Mom to Eleanor~Rose,Ex 27 weeker,now 5 years old.

Your letters were great. I, too, think the doll is apalling on every level. I think everyone should write letters to the company. The best thing to do is stand united.

Kathleen Stahl

My son was born at 15 1/2 inches like the doll but he had a ventilator attached to him for 3 1/2 days and then a cpap and then a nasal. Don't forget the feeding tube and the pic line. I am sorry but I don't think any company can attempt to make a "preemie" doll. I have an old cabbage patch that is around 19 years old and she is what they classified as a preemie. When Mikey came home from the hospital she was bigger than he was!!!

It is very frustrating and I do hear all of your concerns but who in the heck is going to pay $130 for a doll anyway?

I've sent my own letter to the company. I haven't posted it, but I will let you know what reply I receive. It's been a long time since I've been irritated enough by something to actually write a letter, I hope I got my point across!!!

You'd be surprised how many people spend that kind of money on a doll....I've done it myself once or twice when it's been part of a collection I have.

I think we should ALL e-mail the CEO of Ashton Drake photos of our little preemies. That'll scare the hell out of them. My little 15 1/2 inch baby only weighed 2.5 pounds. That 15 1/2 inch behemoth they've created looks to weigh at least 6.

I'm going to have one of my graphic artists make "grace" look a tad more realistic as a preemie, including scalp IV, billi-lites, O2 sensor on the foot, goggles, and her very own "endearing isolette".

I too am drafting a letter of outrage to Ashton Drake, and I'm sending a note to NBC.

I'm really pissed off. I had no idea it would hit me like this.

What a bunch of jackasses!

I know exactly how you feel!!! If you find an address (other than the comments section of the website) to send pictures too, let me know. I will gladly help scare the bejesus out of them with a picture of my Little William in the hospital!

I sent my note, with an intro, to babycenter.com as well.

Thank you for bringing this to everyone's attention. That's what makes this such a wonderful site for NICU parents. As soon as I get over the shock of the "preemie doll", I too intend to write a letter to the company as well. If I can compose a good enough letter....I would be willing to share it with others to sign & send....if I can figure out how to do it on this site.

I wrote a little note to CBS to suggest that they may want to do a human interest/consumer story on the doll....since it dishonors so many wonderful parents and their beautiful children. I also thought it would be very appropriate for a story since Walk America is soon approaching. I will venture on to "SHAME ON YOU" at ABC....to see if they might be interested in a story as well. I am also surprised at their response after such a powerful and meaningful letter from a Preemie's Mom!!

Although some of our children may be tiny....together NICU parents have a LARGE voice!!! Ashton Drakes should have done the smart thing and consulted SHARE!

Thanks again for the shocking info!!!

Brenda & Benjamin (34 weeker born 12/24/99 with NEC)

Hi "PoPs",

After Logan's Mom brought this to my attention I have taken some time to get over the initial shock.

Ashton Drake has ventured down a path they should have never gone down! While I think it was with good intentions, they have been very misinformed. I'm sure now with the information they are receiving from all of us here at SHARE they will hopefully think before leaping into their next endeavor.

From an emotional standpoint, everyone who has posted thus far has covered every emotion I have about this subject. I too plan to contact Ashton Drake, as does my mother (she is a big customer of theirs with 10 granddaughters). I will also follow in Brenda's footsteps and try to contact ABC!

We will see what happens. It is too bad that an apology from such a big company comes in a form letter!

Take care,
Karri, mom to:
Ian 2-11-99 (38 weeks)
Hanna & Rachel 2-24-01 (25 weeks)
Will 7-14-03 (36 weeks--13 weeks bedrest)

I couldn't agree more with the post here already. I love the idea of sending them pictures of these precious preemies! My son was what I consider to be a very healthy preemie. At 31 weeks he was a large 4lbs 6oz but certainly looked nothing like "Grace"! He too was on the vent, had a PIC line, IVs, oxygen sensors you all know the drill. I've never been so scared in my life. My son still had a very sunken chest and legs tiny enough for my husband's wedding ring to fit around when he came home, there was not a crease or fold on him! Sorry I'm ranting -- please let us know if anyone knows how to contact the company. I'll search more on the web site for an address as well. It is time some one made these doll makers Cabbage Patch Kids included understand that preemie doesn't just mean small.

I agree I had to do a double take when I saw last weeks newspaper insert with this so called preemie doll. At first glance I thought how cute another lifelike baby doll but just as I was about to toss it out I the word preemie jumped out at me and I practically studied every inch of the doll picture. My first thought was ok where is the feeding tube through her cute little nose or mouth and all her other little wires with gold heart stickys on her belly? I mean if they are talking realistic let's get real about it. And that stuff I was thinking was just the more basic things my little girl had towards the end of her 88 day NICU stay. I lost a twin after 40 days and even though we have her sister I didn't let many people visit due to germs and so many of my family and friends never even got to meet my one daughter. I have shared pictures but they don't even do justice to what my girls looked like for a while. I don't want people to think well that's what a preemie looks like I guess. Hopefully if enough of us speak out our words may be heard.

Amy (Mother of 26wk twins)

Hi all i just got done writing a nice long letter to mail to the comp. i included 3 pics w it 2 are of my lil boys who were born at 20 weeks weighing less than a pound and my other angel who was at 26 weeks weighing 2 pounds+ i explained nicely that this is what a preemie looks like w all the nasty wires and ugly machines that our innocent children deal w and i also got a phone number for them also maybe that will help also the # is 18772686638 I am really sickened and saddened when i saw this doll i dont know if i should cry or what i am sorry to all of the preemie parents out there who have to see and go through this some people just dont put thoughts behind there ideas!!!!!!! take care all and god bless you

brandy mother of: corey 20 weeks less than a pound didnt make it to nicu, baby pete 26 weeks 2+pounds 11-25-03 to 11-27-03 and dominque 33 weeks 5pounds 7 ounces

just wanted you all to know i just got off of the phone with JULIAN she is a supervisor for ashtondrake she listined to my complaint and "said" she would pass it on to the marketing director yeah like thatll get far i asked to speak to that person and she would not let me but atleast now we have a # i told her also that i want that doll off of there website and off of the market and i am also thinking about calling a couple local news people maybe if more of us write and call something will be done!!!!! good luck to you all keep us updated on progress!!!

I JUST WENT TO THE WEBSITE, I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL. IT HURTS ME BECAUSE MY SON WAS BORN AT 26 WKS............ HE AFTER STAYING IN ICU FOR 3 MONTHS , HE DID NOT COME HOME LOOKING THAT HEALTHY, NOT EVEN THAT COLOR, WHEN HE CAME HOME HE WAS SO SMALL. HOW SAD THIS DOLL IS, THERE'S NOTHING CUTE ABOUT THE IDEA OF HAVING A PRETERM BABY! THIS IS SO SAD. THE AD SAY'S " MAY GOD BLESS LITTLE GRACE" MAY GOD BLESS THE ONE WHO HAD THIS IDEA, AND I WILL PRAY THAT PERSON NEVER HAS TO GO THROUGH THE EMOTIONS OF HAVING A PRETERM BABY! I JUST SHOWED MY CO-WORKER WHO IS A MOTHER OF THANK GOD 2 FULLTERM BABIES........SHE SAID HOW SAD. IT'S A SHAME WHAT PEOPLE WILL DO FOR MONEY!!!!!!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP GET THIS AD OFF!

I thought the following information would be helpful to those who would like to share their wealth of knowledge with the makers of the Preemie Doll. Ashton-Drakes (Collectibles Today) is also affiliated with the following companies: BRADFORD EXCHANGE CHECKS, THE BRADFORD GROUP, HAMILTON ACTION FIGURES, HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER. On the site for The Bradford Group (www.bradfordgroup.com), their "Vision and Missions statement is as follows:

"We strive to bring joy and happiness to the lives of our customers by fulfilling the emotional, psychological and aesthetic needs associated with the acquisition of excellent quality and highly valued collectibles and products enhanced through artistry and design that are related to their expressed interests." (Signed by Richard W. Tinberg, President & CEO of The Bradford Group)

They list their values as Honesty, Fairness, Respect, Knowledge, Innovation, and Excellence.

If you would like to express your personal vision and mission to Mr. Tinberg the headquarter address is: THE BRADFORD GROUP, 9333 N. Milwaukee Avenue, Niles, IL 60714....Please feel free to copy Collectibles Today (Ashton-Drakes) 9307 n. Milwaukee Avenue, Niles, IL 60714-1381! Hope this helps with your letters.

Although their intentions in marketing this Preemie Doll may have been associated with their vision and mission....they undoubtedly missed a very important group of knowledgeable NICU parents. Perhaps Mr. Tinberg will be more receptive and attentive then a customer service rep when he receives all our letters. Share your thoughts and compassion in the loving way a NICU parent is very capable of doing.

Brenda & Benjamin (34 weeker born 12/24/99 with NEC)

Please keep us posted on all the replies you receive from this company. When I saw the picture, my stomach lept into my throat. Let us know what we can do to help.

Just thought I would let you all know that I found Richard Tinberg's (CEO of Bradford Group) fax number. It's (847)581-8761. I saw that the address has already been posted. I received my reply from the customer service rep. and it was EXACTLY the same as the one posted. I knew it was a form letter, but they could at least come up with more than one form!

Keep those letters going...

To Whom it May Concern:
As the mother of a recently born 25 week preemie, I am appalled at this doll. This little doll, though very cute, does not in any way depict the actual appearance of a truly premature baby. My son spent over three months in the hospital hooked up to any number of tubes, getting any number of blood transfusions, and looking very close to giving up. He was only pink when he was screaming from all the needles and procedures he had to endure. He was covered in huge bruises when he was born, and was placed under a blue phototherapy light for jaundice...does this sound like your doll?? I know that all babies are different, but I can tell you from my months in the NICU that none of the preemies looked so healthy while they were there. We, the parents of Preemies, will spend the rest of our lives remembering how frightening it was to see our children hooked up to so many machines...barely holding on. Some of us will always remember losing our precious little ones because it was just too son for them to be here. Your company would do well to remember that Prematurity is a PROBLEM, not something to use as a sales tactic. You want to know how scary it is to be the parent of a Preemie? Do you want to see what it takes to love and care for a Preemie? Try to sell a doll that looks like an ACTUAL preemie...maybe when you see the lack of interest you'll realize what special care these children really need.
Want to apologize? Make a huge contibution to the March of Dimes, I'm sure all of us Preemie Mom's would appreciate it. Out of the question right? You want to make money off of this issue, not spend it to try to help...

Sincerely,
Dawn Aumiller

I would include the response I received but you've all read it already!

WHERE IS THIS LETTER FROM THIS SO CALLED PREEMIE DOLL? I WOULD LIKE TO SEE WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY ,SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW THANK YOU. SHACARM

Here is the company's response... Dear Valued Client,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns regarding "May God Bless You, Little Grace Lifelike Baby Doll."

We certainly did not intend to offend anyone with this depiction of a premature baby. As not all babies start out on equal footing, this doll is meant to represent a celebration of life. Thanks to the advances in medical treatment, and the loving care of parents and family, there are most often happy, healthy babies.

Thank you again for contacting us as we always appreciate your comments. Please respond to this email if we may be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

James Hunnington
collectiblestoday.com Customer Service

Just wanted to include a copy of my letter to the company as well.



I wanted to express my deep sadness over the release of your new “life like preemie, Grace”. Your company’s misrepresentation of preemies sets back the educational efforts of wonderful groups like the March of Dimes by decades. Preemies are not simply a smaller version of full term infants. Prematurity is a very serious issue! I can assure you my 31 weeker never had “folds or creases” anywhere on his tiny body during his NICU experience. Your artist forgot many of the most important preemie accessories: the ventilator (because his underdeveloped lungs are incapable of performing the task of breathing), the PIC line in his arm, the numerous IV lines, the feeding tubes, monitors, and don’t forget the anxious parents waiting outside the NICU door because they are not allowed to visit their child because the preemie in the bed next to him is crashing with every available nurse, doctor, and chaplain doing everything possible to save this fellow preemie. “Grace” dishonors preemies and their families everywhere!

Hi ladies,

I'm attaching a copy of the letter I sent to Ashton Drake.

I writing to voice my extreme disappointment in the choice your company has made in making and attempting to sell the doll Grace. Their is absolutely nothing that is "Life-like" about your preemie representation! My twin girls were born at 25 weeks gestation and didn't even measure 15 inches long and to this day have not one crease or fold! You neglected to include on the doll the ventilator that would have been needed to sustain her fragile life, or the numerous IVs for medications and feeding, also necesssary to sustain the life of a Preemie. Within the description of the doll you state something about cuddling with this adorable preemie. The fact is many parents of Premature children wait for weeks, sometimes months, to hold their child because they are so sick.
Prematurity is an enormous problem in our world and the leading cause of death in infants within the first month of life. As I'm sure this company meant no disrespect in making this doll I do feel that you have been extremely disrespectful and insensitive to all Parents of Premature children. I would hope that in the future your company would use better judgement when designing and marketing future merchandise!
Sincerely,
Karri Friedenberger

I wish I could hug each and every one of you! When I found that ad, wrote the letter and got that disheartening response I was feeling so bummed. I felt like the power of one was not enough. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! To each and every one of you who wrote a letter on behalf of our children, I thank you. Perhaps my voice by itself wasn't enough, but perhaps with all of our voices protesting together it will be just the education the Ashton-Drake Galleries needs.
It just goes to show, a POP just understands how another POP feels. I feel like I am in such great company here... surrounded by compassionate, powerful and VOCAL moms and dads who can be the voices for these tiny babies who can not voice their protests themselves! You guys really are the best.
Keep writing!

Just an update: I received the same form letter back in response to my letter that the rest of you received. I just hope a person is reading these letters and not a computer spitting out replies. The letters that you all have posted have been so eloquently written and heartfelt. Even if we change nothing about "Grace" maybe we can stop a future line of preemie dolls.

Woooooohoooooooooo...I just sent my letter also. It really breaks my heart and that is what I told them. The public's perception of a preemie is already way out of bounds, seeing a doll like this just leads the public further astray and keeps them from realizing that prematurity is a HUGE health care crisis. It is growing in epidemic proportions and thank God, the March of Dimes is trying to do something about it!!!

You guys are the best and TOGETHER we can make a difference!!
Hugs!
Michele