Have you seen the "realistic" preemie doll by Ashton-Drake????

I sent a picture to the president of the company along with my letter of outrage, I don't really think it made much of a difference. I tried, as did everyone else here at SHARE, to get them to understand how we felt....but money is much more important than the feelings of us mere parents....

I SENT THE COMPANY A NASTY MESSAGE. THEY E-MAILED ME BACK WITH A MESSAGE ABOUT NOTHING BAD INTENDED. YA YA YA. SO I SAID IF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT A REAL PREEMIE LOOKS LIKE VIEW ENCLOSED PICTURE. I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM THEM SINCE.

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! Have we not made our point clear enough??? They said before that they couldn't stop production because so many people had already ordered the doll...now they decide to make more of them??? I wonder of ANY of them are going to look as ill as our little ones did?!?!?!?! Well, guess I'll write yet another letter. I know it won't make a difference in the long run, but it'll make me feel better. Does anyone know how we can find out if the company has actually followed through with the MOD donations??

This is very disappointing. Let me find out from the Director of our Prematurity Campaign what ultimately happened with Ashton Drake. We'll be back to you.

Thanks - Ellen

Can we contact the BBB???? I mean after all this is false ad!! They have to be stopped.... i not sure that we have any moms of quints on here but i know that we have quads and i sure that they didn't look like that at birth... i am sure that even the triplets and twins didn't look like that!!

At the end of April I posted a message regarding the preemie dolls that are available on some online sites. I didn't know about the Ashton-Drake doll until Susan mentioned it in her response to my post. I also didn't know that there had been a very lively discussion a few months ago regarding the Ashton-Drake doll! I can't add anything more to what Darcy said in her very first post about these dolls and I am anxious to hear from Ellen to learn if there was a MOD response. In the meantime - thanks to Darcy and everyone else who was proactive and sent the Ashton-Drake company a letter. Let's hope they remove this doll from their product line.

Lori

Okay All-

Of course you know I cannot bite my tounge on this! I feel ill after reading about the quint....who was once "just" premature!
In fact, I am so angry about it...as they say in the south...I could spit nails!

My babies were quadruplets! My babies were born at 25 weeks! My babies were all barely over a pound...and my heavy one Donovan, was 1 pound 8 ounces. (Smallest, Callie, 1 pound 2 ounces). They were in the hospital for 3 and 1/2 months. YES! And I have pictures that do not paint such a rosey picture as the little girl they are calling a quint.

I know I am speaking to people who already know this...I just wish I could really speak rationally and make some kind of emotional connection with the folks who DO NOT realize what they have done...how much harder they are making things...if only they KNEW what it means when they DO things like this!

It is not just this ... but I know many people with higher order multiples that would just cry if they saw the quint who is such a beautiful healthy little sweetheart in that picture! It just breaks my heart to know all that my family have gone through...all that the majority of high order multiples and their families have gone through...all that YOU ALL on this site have gone through...once again I feel list Ashton Drake believes our expereinces to be trite and our babies to be nonpersons...because golly...don't you know every quint will come out looking like that darn collectors doll! UGH!

SIGH*....I should sign off now...Before I stamp my feet and stick out my tounge:

Melissa Middleton

Melissa,

I say stomp your feet and stick out that tongue!!!!!!!! Maybe that will get their attention, and if my Grace is any example, it will make you feel better! I'll be right there with you.....maybel I'll throw myself down on the floor and kick my feet and pound my fists too!! Whew, I feel better just saying that!

When will these people get a clue? It makes me so ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!! and frustrated.

Donna

Hi, everyone: This is Pam with the March of Dimes. Like many Share community members, the March of Dimes is distressed when we see dolls that inaccurately represent quintuplets or a premature baby.

In response to a letter from the March of Dimes expressing very serious concerns about the "Little Grace" Early Arrival doll, Ashton Drake contacted us. They did not agree to change the way their dolls are presented and marketed. They wanted to make a donation in support of our prematurity campaign. The donation is in process.

The March of Dimes is exploring other opportunities for calling attention to the representation of premature and multiple births illustrated by the Ashton-Drake dolls.

For those of you who have concerns about the Ashton-Drake preemie doll or the quintuplet dolls, we encourage you to communicate directly with the company, if you have not already done so.

Best wishes to all of you, Pam

Hi Everyone,

Thought I would post the letter I am sending to Ashton Drake...if you have another address...please pass it on....

Ashton Drake
Attn. Questions and Information
854 Golf Lane
Bensenville, IL 60105.

Dear Ashton Drake,

I am writing in response to your quintuplet, who once was simply preemie baby Grace. When she was advertised as a preemie, I was upset…now that she is being advertised as a quintuplet…I am incensed! Have you any idea what kind of damage you are creating by spreading the idea that that beautiful doll looks anything at all like MOST high order multiples!

My babies were dubbed the Middleton Quads A, B, C, and D in the NICU. I carried them to 25 weeks…and was in pre-term labor with them at 16 weeks. By emergency c-section, my babies were born, much too early, into this world.

Weights were as follows:

Alexander 1 pound 4 ounces
Benjamin 1 pound 4 ounces
Callie 1 pound 2 ounces
Donovan 1 pound 8 ounces

Alexander died in my arms at 3 weeks old from a major blood clot in his heart. It was caused by an infection in his central line (the line in his belly button). Any infection is deadly to a premature baby.

We had Alex cremated and a brief memorial service for him. Can you imagine going to a funeral home, choosing an urn, and discussing with the funeral director what you would like included in your child’s memorial service? No, I imagine you probably do not…because if you could imagine such a thing, I think you would have already begun reconsidering your current marketing course.

Donovan had e-coli in the NICU. How many full term babies do you know who have had e-coli?

Benjamin is blind in one eye and severely visually impaired in his other eye. How many babies do you know that wear glasses…have an occularist, retinal specialists, pediatric ophthalmologist, is tested at a retinal foundation once a year, and has weekly visits with a vision teacher and orientation and mobility teacher? How many babies do you know who are learning pre-braille?

Benjamin and Callie have GI tube and Nissans because of their diagnosis of severe projectile reflux (GERD) and failure to thrive due to severe prematurity. Slowly we are weaning them off of their tubes. It is a constant battle to create the desire to eat in Callie.

All of our children were seen for a year (and Benjamin is still enrolled) by Early Childhood Intervention. Their physical therapist is at Easter Seals…their occupational and speech therapist is at Opportunities. My kids have been enrolled in these programs since they were 6 months old.

Weight is a constant issue. Ben and Callie have almost caught up, due to their tubes…but Donovan is still less than 21 pounds…and again…they are 2 years old. Issues with weight are not uncommon in premature infants.

What is even more heartbreaking than the ignorance you are perpetuating by marketing your preemie and high order multiple dolls…is that you are making our situations sound uncommon and trite! This could not be further from the truth. High order multiples will MOST of the time be born early. Rarely, they are carried almost to full term….usually, they are born earlier than any of us would like…and many times – they do have on going problems.

You have been encouraged by letters and phone calls to stop marketing your “preemie” dolls…and now you are marketing a high order multiple doll! When will this insanity stop!? You have NO idea what you are talking about…

High order multiples are popular images in the media right now…and for a variety of reasons. I also realize that 6 precious babies, born at once, are now school age children…and televsion celebrities. I am so glad that they survived and are okay!

Let me assure you that 6 relatively healthy babies being born at one time…is NOT a common occurrence. It is fascinating…and I am sure it sales…but it is NOT an accurate image of what it usually means to have a litter of babies at one time! Not in the least! You simply do not get it!

My question to you is…what will make you finally “get” it? Do you think smacking down some donation change will really stop the damage you are doing by using these “preemie” and high order multiple dolls in the first place? You really could not be any more offensive to us parents of REAL premature babies and high order multiples?

I encourage you to really look at what you are trying to accomplish by promoting these dolls! That would be a good step in the right direction.

Sincerely,

Melissa R. Middleton
Mom of 25 wkr quads. Alex *deceased*, Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan
Currently 23 months old

Melissa,

You have me crying sitting at my desk. That is a very powerful letter. Thank you for writing that. Reading what you wrote about Alex got me thinking about that day, picking out his casket and making funeral arrangements, for George Daniel, what a horrible day that was. If that doesn't make them stop & think, I am not sure if it is possible!!

Hopefully your letter will open up their eyes!!
Thanks for your inspirational letter!! And for making me cry once again - I needed it!!

Sharlene

Thank you, Melissa for putting into words the repulsion I feel toward this company. I am going to draft another letter to them, but right now I am working on writing my senator about the Preemie Act. Unfortunately, I have more hope for that right now than I do for this company.

BTW, Melissa, The McCaughey septuplets (who I think you were referring to in your letter... though there are 7 of them) live about 10 min from me (Carlisle, IA). And you're right, they are local celebrities though they have a HOST of medical problems. Not something I would fashion a doll after.

I want to know when they are going to release the lifelike accessories: the glasses, hearing adds, walkers, monitors, oxygen cannulas. *gag* This company makes me sick.

Melissa,

Your letter brought me to tears. I cannot believe how insensitive, uncaring, and ignorant the people at this company are. My prayer is that they somehow see the light of what they are doing, and stop. At one point in my life, I actually thought about buying some of their products. My family now has a ban against anything they make. HORRIBLE!!

Melissa,

Your letter says so much more than I could even think of.I am just so sickened and appalled by this doll,and you are right,no donation that they give will lrssen the hurt that they are causing by misrepresenting all these precious preemies.

I don't know if I can write them another letter,they never responded to my first one,I guess that they got tired from being bombarded with all the other ones.But I will try my best.

Many hugs to you and for all that you went through with all you precious babies.I hope that your letter will give that doll company something to think about.Take care.

I also will never buy anything from them either,and tell all my family and friends.I am also going to post this on my Preemie board as well,so these other moms can write to the company again.

Deborah&Eleanor~Rose.

This is Pam with the March of Dimes. A very, very powerful letter. Thank you for writing it.

was just looking at a mag(Good Housekeeping March 05) and there is an add for Grace and it says in the add in small print under her leg "addind to her REALISM as a preemie 'grace' is approximately 15 1/2 inches long"

I freeked when i saw this My son was about that length and did not look like that!! These people HAVE to be stopped... They have no grasp on realism of a preemie!!!

Does anyone remember the preemie doll that was made by cabbage patch. I remember playing with this doll daily, it was my favorite one. I remeber thinking how cute a little little baby. I never imagined that one day I would have my real own preemie. Somehow my 30 weeker wasn't as cute as the doll I called Hope. Yes I named it Hope (quite ironic) It angers me now that this is the vision of a premature baby that people are geting from these dolls. I guess my point is this, we can write to these people untll we are blue in the face. Education is the way we an get revenge.Lets let the world know what premature babies really look like!!!
Mac's Mom

but... *cringe* it also shows the evolution the March of Dimes has made....

MOD paired up with the Cabbage Patch company (Mattel, I believe?) to do fundraising and on several of the CP Kids' boxes there is the MOD endorsement and logo. *snicker*

We've come a long way, baby!

Ashton Drake may not change their opinion....but they are betting that we will become tired and bored with their antics...that we will begin to feel hopeless and go away...Ashton Drake thinks of us as pesky flies at their job site...but to us...prematurity is not just a job...it is a huge part of our lives...and because of this...we won't go away...We cannot allow ourselves to get apathetic about the propoganda and myths this company uses to sell their products...they are just ebbing away at our energy reserves while benefiting from a misinformed public's appetite for little cuddly babies and high order multiples...

I do agree...hitting senators with letters will probably be more fruitful...but being an annoyance to Ashton Drake has its own benefits.

Take care all...you know we can do so much if we stick together and focus on this just cause...and you also know how amazing I know each of you are...whether you choose to advocate or not...you still offer and give so much...every day!

Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *Deceased*, Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan: 23 months old)

Melissa you are so right, i'm sure they think we'll just "go away"

What about the better business bureau? Can they help? HMMMMM we preemie parents are very persistant i don't think they know who they are dealing with do they???

What do you say ladies shall we join forces to drive this company absolutely NUTS til they stop exploiting prematurity and realize the seriousness of this problem that affects so many families?

I'm in...I'm going over to the BBB site and see what's what...i'll let ya'll know what i find out.

Smooches

Sue
(Kendalls Mom 33wk)

Here is a message that i just emailed to a local news stations report who goes to businesses and basically fights the fight for you...i thought i would start there and then got to the BBB and then to my Senator

Sorry it's so long, but once i started typing i couldn't stop!

I'll let you know what i find out.

Hank, not sure if you can help or not...but it's worth asking...recently I was shocked to see an advertisement for a doll created by the company Ashton-Drake, it depicts a preemie baby as cute and adorable with beautifully full cheeks, folds and wrinkles etc. As a parent of a premature baby born 33 wks 3 lbs 3 oz, I can honestly say this is a horrific and sad crisis that affects so many families today...prematurity IS NOT CUTE, PRETTY, OR CHUBBY, my daughter was so tiny and her skin was practically transparent, she most certainly did not have folds or wrinkles and definately no chubby cheeks, and at 2 she still doesn't have chubby cheaks. I wrote the company to ask why they felt the need to exploit the tiny miracles that are born too soon and often times don't make it they responded with a form letter of yes we get a lot of complaints but we want people to see the beauty and joy in this babies? There is no beauty or joy in endless sleepless nights and days spent at your babies bedside not being able to hold your child because their nervous system is too raw and under developed to handle human touch, you can't feed them becasue it will cause them to stop breathing...and when you finally overcome what you think is the worst trip of your life, it doesn't end there...because when you do get home, you now have to constantly worry that your baby will catch something so you are not allowed to go out in public until their immune system is up to that of a full-term baby, you constantly wonder when they will speak, walk, grow, and then come the early intervention sessions and the list goes on and on. If this company thinks that preemies are so cute, how about another doll called leukemia baby, and heart surgery baby, or any other horrible disease that affects familes everyday...prematurity is NO DIFFERENT from another disease...it can take lives just like heart disease or cancer...

Hank I hope that you can possibly do something...I belong to a group of Preemie Parents on a website called SHARE and it's hosted by the March of Dimes and each one of us their want the Ashton-Drake company to stop making this awful doll...

I appreciate your time and look foward to hearing from you soon

regards,

Susan Brown
mom of Kendall Michaela born 33 wks 3 lbs.3 oz



we'll see

keep going mommies and daddies

smooches

sue
(kendalls mom 33 wks)

You know I have 3 cabbage patches from my youth. They all have special meaning to me. Prior to having Mikey I took them all out and dreamt of giving them to a little girl to play with, when I had my son I figured he would be too rough (which I am definitely right about) and was going to put them right away but then I noticed Jan Marie (My preemie doll) and asked my husband to leave her out so that when Mikey came home we could see the REAL difference. Well Jan towered over Mikey and lets just say it took a couple of months for him to be able to fit in the same size diaper as Mikey was wearing. HOWEVER, I am not offended by the doll. She looks nothing like a real baby she looks like she came from a cabbage patch. Maybe their preemies are smaller then Human babies.... Ashton Drake is trying to make a HUMAN preemie and failing miserable. My son was exactly 15 1/2 inches and 2 lbs 11 ounces. He had incredibly long fingers and toes and was all arms and legs. His head was TINY but perfectly shaped. That doll's head appears to be as big as Mikey's whole body!!!

Okay I am done venting...

Susan...I LOVE your passion! You go girl!

And as for the cabbage patch kid talk...

I think that MOD has come a very long way...indeed the world has grown in leaps and bounds in research, technology, human rights, etc. It is a jungle out there...but maybe in some ways we are making it a kinder gentler jungle...I don't know...

Also, I agree that cabbage patch kids were never really considered serious baby dolls in the days moms were getting into hair pulls over the last cb kid at Christmas (way before Elmo's time) and you were not cool if you did not have your own cb kid. Personally...I had one named Lorenzo...my sisters each had one...one's name was Adrian...and the other's name was Nolan...and my brother opted for the more guy friendly cb animals...he had a lion named Lional (what else?).

These cb kids were my first real awareness of children who were different than me...I remember some had glasses...some had gobs of freckles...some had really curly hair...some were bald...and these cb kids also taught caring, understanding, sticking together...love...it travled yards into the unmapped waters of adoption....wanting to be adopted...and being a valued member of a family who may not be blood...but loved you just as much. All concepts I really knew nothing about at the time. These dolls helped me to empathize with children who were not like me - and on a level I could understand...

Of course, there are other ways I was exposed to kids who were different too...we had a class member who had cp and was in a wheel chair...but he attempted to do everything we did....and sometimes more...and man...when his momma brought his walker to class...he could move all over that classroom in a split second...sure it tired him out...but it was AWESOME! The whole class cheered him on....and his self esteem soared!

I remember too being asked by the special ed teacher to "sit" with the kids for 5 minutes here and there so that she could run to the office for a minute...I have no idea why I was so lucky to be asked...but I loved it! I was only in 3rd and 4th grade...but it was such a treat...and it gave me the wonderful opportunity to see the special ed. kids as people.

I would like to think that the cb kids...the boy in my first grade class...and my "responsibility" of sitting for 5 minutes sometimes in the special ed. room has helped mold me into the person I am today.

The Ashton Drake dolls are an entirely different matter...they are only created with the purpose to make people go AH! and spend gobs of money....they are created to look as real as possible...with all of the necessary (but untrue) writing...to make the product more appealing to consumers...and then...that beautiful doll will be put up on a shelf...as a giggling new owner brings it carefully down and says, "this is what a preemie looks like...isn't she cute" and "you know THIS doll is one of quintuplets"...this doll will not teach any real lessons of value....I doubt this doll will influence anyone to be a better person...this doll is just a piggy bank.

Melissa Middleton

Melissa -

You are so much better at this then I ever will be. I was trying to say everything you said in my last post but you did it 100% better!!!

I also like to consider myself a good person from the things I did as a youngster. I was always active in Special Olympics. I loved to help out although I have to admit sometimes I would feel uncomfortable I knew this was something that I NEEDED to do to make me feel that I was making a difference in somebody's life and I really do believe it also helped make me a better person!

Shannon

Melissa,

Thanks for perking up my exhausted apathy and lighting the fire. I have a hard time staying enraged with this $tup*d company because I've dismissed them as being "untrainable". It is much like the feeling I get when I just finish all the laundry then the boys come in with grass stains and mud all over their clothes. Or the great feeling of mopping the floor to get footprints across the whole thing. Ya feel like "Didn't I just *fix* this?!?!" Although, my children are bright and learn not to touch Mommy's floor until its dry, Ashton-Drake seem to get MORE ignorant with time, rather than less. *sigh*

But, you are absolutely right! This should make us hike up our jeans, roll up our sleeves and work harder to stomp out their pitiful ignorance and harmful message. Thanks for the gentle reminder. They absolutely want us to go away. Flick us off like flies. Perhaps if we came back with stingers they wouldn't so gingerly toss us aside.

As for the BBB, I filed a complaint in January with the Illinois BBB for false advertising (The company is in Niles, IL). Although, they couldn't exactly help me, the number of complaints is recorded on the website. So when people look them up, it shows how many of us have lodged complaints. While it may not help... it will show that people aren't happy. BBB said they can not interevene because A-D changed the ad "Removed the word "preemie" like I requested". They are a mediator not a lawyer. If I wanted to continue further I would need to hire my own lawyer to file a lawsuit. I suppose we could take it to that next step, if needed, but we would need someone with the inside track on the legal battle and the process (and expenses!).

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.... (Dylan Thomas)

stingers I love it...oh yeah we aren't going away...i did notice they took out preemie...but it's just not enough...i have lawyer friends...i'm going to see what she says...i haven't heard back from the news station yet...sometimes when things go "public" companies usually will do something...

So if we all file with the BBB that's one more hit right?

Oh never get us crazy preemie parents started we don't give up EVER...

just wanted you all to know I have been keeping an eye on this thread and since nothing seemed to be happening, I decided I needed to help too. I emailed A-D the other day and received the same BS form letter you have all gotten. "they didn't mean to offend, with medical advances and love of parents, yada yada yada." When I replied and said I knew it was a form letter and was disgusted with their lack of action and understanding, they did not reply. I just filed a complaint with the BBB also, so maybe with all of us complaining something will get done! keep you posted on how my dealings with the BBB goes...

Attached is a message i got back from Hank Ryan a local consumer advocate reporter and now I need your help...she is going to investigate this company !!!

I need your letters that you recieved back from them...HERE WE GO FOLKS...

You can forward the letters to smk021@comcast.net or send me a email through Share and I'll give you my home address so you can forward a copy if you have a hard copy of the letter or you can fax it to me...

I'm sooo excited to get this going!

Hi Susan--
  Thank you so much for your email. That's so interesting--and I can understand
how you feel. Do you have the letters from SHARE? Do you still have the form
letter from the company? Would you or any of the other parents be interested in
doing interviews about this? I'm also going to share your email with our medical
unit, Dr. Deanna Lites and producer Dana Paravati--they may want to chat with
you.
  All the best
  Hank
 

Great work!! Maybe we make some headway with A-D if they see it on Tv

just wanted you all to know i had no luck with BBB. they said they can't go after a company just because people find their product offensive. i guess false advertising doesn't apply, though i tried that angle as well.
susan - good job!!! it seems like the only response yet! i am going to forward my email from a-d to that email. i don't have any hard copies - i only sent emails...