Have you seen the "realistic" preemie doll by Ashton-Drake????

You know I have 3 cabbage patches from my youth. They all have special meaning to me. Prior to having Mikey I took them all out and dreamt of giving them to a little girl to play with, when I had my son I figured he would be too rough (which I am definitely right about) and was going to put them right away but then I noticed Jan Marie (My preemie doll) and asked my husband to leave her out so that when Mikey came home we could see the REAL difference. Well Jan towered over Mikey and lets just say it took a couple of months for him to be able to fit in the same size diaper as Mikey was wearing. HOWEVER, I am not offended by the doll. She looks nothing like a real baby she looks like she came from a cabbage patch. Maybe their preemies are smaller then Human babies.... Ashton Drake is trying to make a HUMAN preemie and failing miserable. My son was exactly 15 1/2 inches and 2 lbs 11 ounces. He had incredibly long fingers and toes and was all arms and legs. His head was TINY but perfectly shaped. That doll's head appears to be as big as Mikey's whole body!!!

Okay I am done venting...

Susan...I LOVE your passion! You go girl!

And as for the cabbage patch kid talk...

I think that MOD has come a very long way...indeed the world has grown in leaps and bounds in research, technology, human rights, etc. It is a jungle out there...but maybe in some ways we are making it a kinder gentler jungle...I don't know...

Also, I agree that cabbage patch kids were never really considered serious baby dolls in the days moms were getting into hair pulls over the last cb kid at Christmas (way before Elmo's time) and you were not cool if you did not have your own cb kid. Personally...I had one named Lorenzo...my sisters each had one...one's name was Adrian...and the other's name was Nolan...and my brother opted for the more guy friendly cb animals...he had a lion named Lional (what else?).

These cb kids were my first real awareness of children who were different than me...I remember some had glasses...some had gobs of freckles...some had really curly hair...some were bald...and these cb kids also taught caring, understanding, sticking together...love...it travled yards into the unmapped waters of adoption....wanting to be adopted...and being a valued member of a family who may not be blood...but loved you just as much. All concepts I really knew nothing about at the time. These dolls helped me to empathize with children who were not like me - and on a level I could understand...

Of course, there are other ways I was exposed to kids who were different too...we had a class member who had cp and was in a wheel chair...but he attempted to do everything we did....and sometimes more...and man...when his momma brought his walker to class...he could move all over that classroom in a split second...sure it tired him out...but it was AWESOME! The whole class cheered him on....and his self esteem soared!

I remember too being asked by the special ed teacher to "sit" with the kids for 5 minutes here and there so that she could run to the office for a minute...I have no idea why I was so lucky to be asked...but I loved it! I was only in 3rd and 4th grade...but it was such a treat...and it gave me the wonderful opportunity to see the special ed. kids as people.

I would like to think that the cb kids...the boy in my first grade class...and my "responsibility" of sitting for 5 minutes sometimes in the special ed. room has helped mold me into the person I am today.

The Ashton Drake dolls are an entirely different matter...they are only created with the purpose to make people go AH! and spend gobs of money....they are created to look as real as possible...with all of the necessary (but untrue) writing...to make the product more appealing to consumers...and then...that beautiful doll will be put up on a shelf...as a giggling new owner brings it carefully down and says, "this is what a preemie looks like...isn't she cute" and "you know THIS doll is one of quintuplets"...this doll will not teach any real lessons of value....I doubt this doll will influence anyone to be a better person...this doll is just a piggy bank.

Melissa Middleton

Melissa -

You are so much better at this then I ever will be. I was trying to say everything you said in my last post but you did it 100% better!!!

I also like to consider myself a good person from the things I did as a youngster. I was always active in Special Olympics. I loved to help out although I have to admit sometimes I would feel uncomfortable I knew this was something that I NEEDED to do to make me feel that I was making a difference in somebody's life and I really do believe it also helped make me a better person!

Shannon

Melissa,

Thanks for perking up my exhausted apathy and lighting the fire. I have a hard time staying enraged with this $tup*d company because I've dismissed them as being "untrainable". It is much like the feeling I get when I just finish all the laundry then the boys come in with grass stains and mud all over their clothes. Or the great feeling of mopping the floor to get footprints across the whole thing. Ya feel like "Didn't I just *fix* this?!?!" Although, my children are bright and learn not to touch Mommy's floor until its dry, Ashton-Drake seem to get MORE ignorant with time, rather than less. *sigh*

But, you are absolutely right! This should make us hike up our jeans, roll up our sleeves and work harder to stomp out their pitiful ignorance and harmful message. Thanks for the gentle reminder. They absolutely want us to go away. Flick us off like flies. Perhaps if we came back with stingers they wouldn't so gingerly toss us aside.

As for the BBB, I filed a complaint in January with the Illinois BBB for false advertising (The company is in Niles, IL). Although, they couldn't exactly help me, the number of complaints is recorded on the website. So when people look them up, it shows how many of us have lodged complaints. While it may not help... it will show that people aren't happy. BBB said they can not interevene because A-D changed the ad "Removed the word "preemie" like I requested". They are a mediator not a lawyer. If I wanted to continue further I would need to hire my own lawyer to file a lawsuit. I suppose we could take it to that next step, if needed, but we would need someone with the inside track on the legal battle and the process (and expenses!).

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.... (Dylan Thomas)

stingers I love it...oh yeah we aren't going away...i did notice they took out preemie...but it's just not enough...i have lawyer friends...i'm going to see what she says...i haven't heard back from the news station yet...sometimes when things go "public" companies usually will do something...

So if we all file with the BBB that's one more hit right?

Oh never get us crazy preemie parents started we don't give up EVER...

just wanted you all to know I have been keeping an eye on this thread and since nothing seemed to be happening, I decided I needed to help too. I emailed A-D the other day and received the same BS form letter you have all gotten. "they didn't mean to offend, with medical advances and love of parents, yada yada yada." When I replied and said I knew it was a form letter and was disgusted with their lack of action and understanding, they did not reply. I just filed a complaint with the BBB also, so maybe with all of us complaining something will get done! keep you posted on how my dealings with the BBB goes...

Attached is a message i got back from Hank Ryan a local consumer advocate reporter and now I need your help...she is going to investigate this company !!!

I need your letters that you recieved back from them...HERE WE GO FOLKS...

You can forward the letters to smk021@comcast.net or send me a email through Share and I'll give you my home address so you can forward a copy if you have a hard copy of the letter or you can fax it to me...

I'm sooo excited to get this going!

Hi Susan--
  Thank you so much for your email. That's so interesting--and I can understand
how you feel. Do you have the letters from SHARE? Do you still have the form
letter from the company? Would you or any of the other parents be interested in
doing interviews about this? I'm also going to share your email with our medical
unit, Dr. Deanna Lites and producer Dana Paravati--they may want to chat with
you.
  All the best
  Hank
 

Great work!! Maybe we make some headway with A-D if they see it on Tv

just wanted you all to know i had no luck with BBB. they said they can't go after a company just because people find their product offensive. i guess false advertising doesn't apply, though i tried that angle as well.
susan - good job!!! it seems like the only response yet! i am going to forward my email from a-d to that email. i don't have any hard copies - i only sent emails...

I just sent an e-mail to Ashton-Drake, not that it'll do any good. I am curious of their "standard" response, seems we all get various versions, depending on our story. I will definitely print out my response & send it to you, Susan.

Here's my letter/e-mail:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing in reference to your “Little Grace” doll and her supposed “little”, as in premature, stature.

Looking at your website and seeing this doll, “Little Grace” is anything but little. She looks like a full term, approximately 5-6lb. baby.

My son, George Daniel, was born 3 weeks early, weighing in at 4lbs. 3oz. He was born with numerous birth defects which ultimately cost him his life at 3 months and 29 days old. Do you know the statistics of premature infant mortality? Have you ever felt the agony and pain that comes with losing a child because they were “early” or premature? Have you ever sat in a funeral home picking out a casket for your almost 4 month old baby?

Did you consider the public’s reaction to “Little Grace” when you started marketing her? Did you do a study on prematurity to see what it actually entails?

I am enthralled, as a mother of a premature child. I am enthralled that a company is marketing these “little” dolls as premature when in fact; they are nothing of the sort. My son looked nothing like that baby. His skin was transparent, with a hint of blue, he was smaller than ANY of my daughter’s baby dolls, and I could hold him in one hand and not lose balance of that hand as he was smaller than a bag of sugar.

The marketing you are doing on this doll has to end, simply market her as a “full-term” doll, as that is what she truly is. She has rolls & creases, which my son never had, except for the area where his double hernia made creases against his skin. Even her diaper is the size of a normal diaper, my son’s preemie diapers didn’t even fit him at first, they were too big. Her cheeks are chubby & fat, not like a skinny, fighting for life, preemie.

Thank you for your time. Looking forward to a new marketing campaign on your website regarding “Little Grace” and her 3 siblings you are trying to profit off of.

Sincerely,

Sharlene Barnett
Mother of Taylor (full-term) and ^!^ George Daniel (36 weeker)

We'll see what comes of this...will keep you posted!!

Sharlene

I just checked that website (thanks for the link). All of my girls were nothing like that doll . They were all very small and skinny. Premie diapers were even to big. Keep me posted on what the company has to respond. I will be sending them and e-mail once my twins are taking a nap.

Sincerely,
Denisse

At some point Ashton Drake relented and said that a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this doll would go to the MOD.

Did that ever happen?

Also, I wrote several letters to publishers of magazines that had a big print ad for this enormous preemie expressing my displeasure and offense at the product. Southern Living was one, and a couple others. If there's no advertising for the product, it will disappear. I never heard back from anybody.

Hi, Eliot's Dad: This is Pam with the March of Dimes. See the moderator posting of May 18 for the status of the Ashton-Drake discussions with the March of Dimes. The donation is "in process."
Best wishes.

Hi Friends!

Sue....thank you for all of the hard work you are doing...check out past letters posted...I think some were copied to posts back when this issue came to our attention....

Sharlene...thank you for writing the letter...even if you do not make a huge impact...they will still see you as an annoying fly...so buzzz buzzz buzzz away...and I will fly with you...!

Todd...now they are calling this doll a quintuplet....go figure right? Really, a qunituplet is just a synonym for preemie...because high order multiples are almost ALWAYS born early!

Write on my friends...make those phone rings...your voices are powerful!

Darcy...you are one of the moving spirits of SHARE and while I know it is easy to get down when met with such resistance...you have a fighting spirit that resides in you...and I never had any doubt that you would come back up swinging! You go girl!

And I am working on things at this end...will let you know what I can come up with....

Also, as JLC's mom has noted....and many have been following the thread...write those senators! Folks...this is relatively quick and painless...and it could make a huge difference!



Hugs All - Melissa Middleton

Melissa you are always saying just the right thing to keep people going!!! THANKS GIRLFRIEND!



a preemie parents motto
"NEVER SAY NEVER"!!!

huggs

Sue
(Kendalls mom 33 wk)

I just read some of the responses to the Ashton-Drake situation and would like to add my thoughts. I don't like the doll either and it does not look like my preemie. I have a picture of my 23 weeker next to a beanie baby if anyone wants to show what a real preemie looks like. She was 1 pound 7 ounces and 11 3/4 inches long. I bet they have never stepped foot in a NICU.
Good luck with getting Ashton-Drake to see the truth.
Rene' (mom to Sydney - 23 weeker, now 18 months)
Pasadena, TX

I think I have an e-mail back from AD Sue...will that do...and maybe talk to the powers that be at MOD...

I have my letter written and ready for our nation's senators...just need to throw stamps on them.

Have a GREAT DAY EVERYONE!

Melissa Middleton

Hi, everyone: It's Pam with the March of Dimes. We are having new discussions here at the foundation, now that Ashton-Drake has released the quint dolls. We share your concerns that the dolls do not accurately reflect typical quintuplets. We expect to have a statement for the Share community soon. Best wishes to you all.

I am still in contact with Hank at WHDH TV Channel 7...I'm sure they will interview anyone interested over the phone...I'm also sending a letter to Good Morning America, and 20/20 or Primetime...basically anyone who will listen I've also contacted my Senator...we'll see what happens...please send any/all letters you have (i've looked through the posts for some) but it's better in the original form to my email address smk021@comcast.net

THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE...i like the idea Eliott's dad had to send Ashton-Drake a photo of our preemies...perhaps that'll shockem into reality...I'm getting one and sending it tomorrow via regular mail, perhaps if they get (hmmm there are over 4000 members on SHARE) that'll make quite an impact...eh?

huggs

Sue
(kendalls mom 33wk)

When I first saw the Ashton-Drake preemie doll a few months ago I was enraged. All I can say is what were they thinking? Did anybody at AD do any research before they released this so called "preemie" doll? This doll is offensive to all preemie parents I am glad that everybody is going something and I am going to e-mail AD next!

P.S Don't you love how they changed the name to "Early Arrival" doll. There is nothing early looking about the doo at all.

Sorry I've been away over the long weekend...but I'm sending the letters to Hank at Channel 7 i've only received 3 anyone who has a letter from the company please forward to my email and i will print and send to them. I'm also sending a few photos to the company that have been sent to me.

Thanks to all for your constant help and support

huggs

Sue
(Kendalls mom 33wk)

Hi, everyone: This is Pam from the March of Dimes. For your information, the March of Dimes has decided not to accept any donations from Ashton-Drake. Like many of you, we believe that their preemie and quintuplet dolls inaccurately portray infants who come too soon or who are multiples. Best wishes to all of you.

Pam:

I am glad to hear that YEAH!!!!! for the March of Dimes...
I know the valuable uses you guys put to every dollar.... But I am HAPPY to hear that MOD has made this choice.

The unfortunate part of this is they will probably continue to take that Oh Well approach...

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! MOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Pam,

I am so pleased that you guys have decided to refuse the donations made by the Ashton Drake company! Again and again I am astonished at how supportive you at the MOD office are...and how well you listen to us PoPs. You are such a caring and pro active organization, matching compassion with leadership, and coming up with a dynamic and responsible message of public awareness.

Each of us are connected, and it is sad that Ashton Drake is unable to see this...but I will bet that refusal of their "make nice" donations will at least leave them wondering how what they are doing has infuriated so many good people!

Best Wishes,

Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *deceased*, Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan: 23 months old)

I saw the add for the doll and didnt think it looked like a preemie at all but decided maybe it looked better in person. I ordered the doll and was shocked at the huge size of it too. my 29 week preemie looked like a skinny sick bird not a rosy plump baby. that doll was chunkier then my full term baby. I am sad to hear their response to your concerns. I sent the doll back the day after I recieved it.
Nia's Mom

I'll send them a picture of what 27 week quintuplets look like. My sons were not plump little men. They were so red and skinny. And that isn't a doll they would want to market. Then I'll send them a picture of my 3 quints who passed. My boys were beautiful, but no company would want to market a doll after them with tiny little legs and red, red skin. Especially after my one pounder, Peter.

They are so sad for doing those dolls.

Shannon Bailor
Mommy to quints born at 27 weeks (July 3, 2005): Lukas, Noah, Samuel (D), Patrick(D), and Peter (D)

I do think it was poor marketing for AD to refer to "Grace" as a preemie. The sculpting artist did not intend her as such, but rather a healthy newborn. During the molding/casting process the doll shrunk from the original size, hense the reason, in their infinite wisdom the manufacturer labled her a "preemie". Grace is as chubby and healthy looking as my full term 9 pound daughter, which I am sure is what she was intended to be and miles bigger than my "early arrival" 34 weeker. Slowly the doll market is coming around to more realistic and accurate "preemie" dolls. Even my dolls that the company I am with have chose to produce have more body fat than they should for their size, but they are a whole lot closer to the real thing.

I just saw your posting on the preemie doll, I too am saddend by the portrayel of this preemie doll. My little man looked nothing like that doll. Just think if all preemie's looked so healthy we would have nothing to worry about. The company is just portraying a smaller than usual size doll and calling it preemie!

Hi my name is Luren and that makes me very upset as well. I wnet to the web site and that doll looks nothing like a preemie. I had a 31 weeker but she only weighed 2lbs and she had no rools on her at all. She still doesnt and shes 7 mons old. I wish we could do something about it.