Have you seen the "realistic" preemie doll by Ashton-Drake????

I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE, YOU SAID THAT YOU VIA EMAILED ME THE RESPONCE? I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS?

Here's the note I sent. Of course, all I got was the canned answer.

Ashton Drake Company,

I am simply outraged at your firm’s portrayal of a “truly realistic preemie” in the “little Grace” doll. (http://ashtondrake.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-300063001.jsp) The entire concept and marketing of this contrivance is a disgrace to your company, and plainly offensive to parents of premature babies. To think that you would hope to profit from a deeply tragic event like a premature birth. Shame on you. Next, will you be creating “lifelike” car accident surviving babies. How adorable they will be!

The doll itself is a farce. It looks nothing like a 15 1/2 inch preemie. I had a 15 1/2 inch preemie, I have attached her photograph for your reference. Please note the lack of any body fat, the mass of electronics and medical equipment needed to keep her alive, and the inability of a loving parent to even hold their new child or see her face. Of course, if you marketed the “Loving Isolette” as an add on, you’d make a fortune! Does your doll come with the sleeve of forms requesting Medicaid assistance and special therapies through State and County facilities? Does your doll come with 213 pages of hospital bills? (I can forward those for your reference as well.) The fulfillment of these “cute extras” would be quite tricky and may increase the sweet spot price at which you offer this little gem. (Admittedly, $129.00 is a bargain, our preemie cost well over half a million!)

Furthermore, who in their right mind would WANT to have a preemie, given the choice? These tiny babies struggle, many have serious and often lifelong disabilities. I wouldn’t wish a preemie, or the parental hell they initially bring, upon anyone, and yet, here you are selling it as “cute.”

All I can say is I am disgusted. I am forwarding this note to my friends and business associates and my local media outlets. There is a large and powerful public forum at the March of Dimes, the members of which are doing the same as I.

Regards,

Todd Bemis
Parent of a preemie
Atlanta, Georgia

P.S. I just noticed that your doll is missing surgery scars! Good Lord! How unbelievable, no scars. Your designer didn’t do their homework.

Here is the company's response... Dear Valued Client,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns regarding "May God Bless You, Little Grace Lifelike Baby Doll."

We certainly did not intend to offend anyone with this depiction of a premature baby. As not all babies start out on equal footing, this doll is meant to represent a celebration of life. Thanks to the advances in medical treatment, and the loving care of parents and family, there are most often happy, healthy babies.

Thank you again for contacting us as we always appreciate your comments. Please respond to this email if we may be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

James Hunnington
collectiblestoday.com Customer Service

Shacarm,
You're just having navigational problems, that's all! See the arrows on the grey bar on the right side of the screen that say outline, all, prev, top, last, next? Click on the up and down arrows that say ALL and you will be able to see all the posts. There you'll find the letters written by us and the companies response. Noone (as of yet) has gotten a personal letter from the company, instead they email a standard predrafted form letter in response.
Hope this helps. Also, if you didn't get Michele's email make sure your preferences are set to forward your MOD email to your regular email adress. I don't know how to retrieve the MOD email either. Good luck!

Andrea,

The email address is:
www.collectiblestoday.com

Have at it girlfriend!!!

I'm curious as to wether they will really do something about it or not!! I've been watching the site to see if any advertising has changed on the doll and thus far nothing has changed.

Karri

Thanks so much now I can send them my own letter.
   Andrea

just wanted everyone to know that i have contacted OPRAH WINFREY, NBC, CBS, and DATELINE i hope n pray for all of our mircles and angels that something will be done about this issue i am also sooo sorry for all of us preemie moms who have to go through this it is a slap in the face i will keep u all updated on my responces i hope somebody can get through to them

Hello ladies!

Andrea, no problem on the address.

Brandy, Great job on contacting all those avenues! Hopefully someone will hear our "United Voice"

Question to everyone:

I'm trying to find the ABC link to the John Stosel segments..."Shame On You". He runs them, I believe, on Primetime or 20/20, but I can't seem to be able to find the link on how to contact him on this one. Any suggestions???

Thanks,
Karri

Well, I got my reply too...they decided to change it up a bit but it reads much the same....

Dear Valued Client,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns regarding "May God Bless
You, Little Grace" lifelike baby doll.

We certainly did not intend to offend anyone with this depiction of a
premature baby. Although we recognize that premature babies may not
always appear the way our artist has depicted, their strength and
willingness to survive will always shine through.

As not all babies start out on equal footing, this doll is meant to
represent a celebration of life. It represents the love and strength of
these babies and the love and strength of their parents. Thanks to the
advances in medical treatment, and the loving care of parents and family,
there are more happy and healthy babies then ever before.

Thank you again for contacting us as we always appreciate your
comments.

Sincerely,

James Hunnington
collectiblestoday.com Customer Service

JohnStossel@abcnews.com

that's the only thing I found about how to contact him...hope it helps.

I don't think the 'new and improved' form letter is much better. It's still ignorant. They are still spreading misconception. They don't want to discontinue her. It probably costs less than $10 to make her and they're making a bundle.

Ah well. She's still cheaper than Logan, who at last count had hit 1 million dollars. Top that Ashton-Drake.

"willingness to survive"??? What on earth does that mean? That's just plain terrible copywriting.

And sadly, it does not "always shine through."

What a load.

I've jumped on the bandwagon and sent my letter too. I can't believe the doll, but even more, I can't believe their response letter. Yes, many preemies are "okay", but they endure so much just to be that way. ACK!!!!! It is so sad that some people will see that doll and think it's nothing to have a preemie.

Hello All-

Sadly, even babies who fight the hardest...and have such a "willingness to survive" still die in the NICU. My Alex had a "willingness to survive" but still died at 3 weeks old in my arms. My other 3 had a "willingness to survive" and they are here with me now. What DOES "willingness to survive" mean according to Ashton Drake?

And honestly, why don't they explain what "healthy" means to them? I suppose healthy could be true...but OH the work that it takes to get and keep them there! Remember everyone how long it took our kiddies to get over a deadly infection in the NICU aka. any infection our child gets in the NICU is potentially deadly. Or the constant reflux when we bring them home...or constant weight management...or the early intervention...????

Many times parents pour ALL of their love into these precious kids, and still they are not what most might consider healthy! Not for a while anyway...my doctors did not consider our kids "healthy" until they were pushing at 1 years old.

Actually, the second letter makes me madder than the first letter. At least the first letter was glowing with blatent insensitivity...the second one is blaten with false sensitivity!
 

Hoping each Pops is doing just great...stay healthy...lots of nasty flu and RSV bugs are floating around East Texas!

Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *deceased*, Ben, Callie, and Donovan)

FRIDAY FEB. 4TH I SENT A LETTER TO THE COMPANY. I HAVE'NT RECEIVED A LETTER BACK. I LET THEM KNOW HOW MY PREEMIE AND ALL OF OUR PREEMIES NEVER COME HOME LOOKING THAT HEALTHY AND THE PINK, WITH MIND YOU NO SCARS WHERE'S THE APNEA MONITOR? WHERE ARE THE SCARS? I AGREE WITH SOMEONE WHO SAID JUST CHANGE THE NAME! WELL I AM PROUD THAT I VOICED MY HEART, AND MIND!

Hello.

I also wrote tot them,but they never responded to my eamil at all.I see that you were asking about the ones who give awards to these dolls.Well,I was looking through the site,trying to see where else I can write,and came across this where Ashton-Drake has the line of "Truly Real" dolls up for sale.

Maybe we can find something out about these people.I hope it hel[s a bit,I am getting tired of the lame response that they keep sending us as well.That last response teeters in between stupidty,ignorance,and just plain cruel.

Like Melissa said,what does willingness mean to them.I have other friends whose preemie babies,nieces and so on fought so hard only to have their poor bodies just give out,their bodies just weren't strong enough,but that doesn't mean that they weren't fighting hard enough,I feel that they were and still are the bravest to endure all that has happened to them.

Unfortunately,the Ashton-Drake company just wants to justify this reclkless creation of a doll no matter how lame they sound.They just want that $130.00 a doll plus shipping and handling.But hopefully all these emails will make them think before they come up with something stupid again.Anyways,I hope that these magazines can help.Take care.

Deborah,Mom to Eleanor~Rose
Ex 27 weeker,now 5 years old.

Baby Emily has won the Dolls Award of Excellence sponsored by Doll Magazine, the DOTY award, sponsored by Doll Reader Magazine, and she has also won the NALED Doll of the Year.

Hello all!

This company continues to amaze me!!! I don't even know what to say anymore!

Thanks for the John Stossel address. I'll be contacting him also!

Have a good night everyone!
Karri

Thought I would share my message with everyone. Let me know if you hear back from any of the network news stations.

To whom it may concern:

I was shocked and appalled when I saw the "real life preemie doll". Little Grace is a gross misrepresentation of what a premature baby really is. A preemie is not a smaller version of a term baby but typically a very sick baby struggling just to survive. Reading about "the hours you'll spend cuddling and loving this lifelike collectible preemie doll!" brought back sad memories of how I couldn't hold or even touch my baby. When I finally did hold him after a week I was able to hold him for about five minutes before having to put him back under the heat lams and billiruben lights. Even while I was holding him I could barely touch him because he was covered in electronic monitors and needles.

I think you would never dream of creating a life like brain bleed baby or an omphalacele baby (that's where the intestines are formed on the outside of the body). Why not? These are both problems that preemies face. You wouldn't because it would be disgusting and offensive to portray these babies as they really are. Just imagine how much more offensive it would be to see a baby like this portrayed as a perfectly healthy baby.

The truth is, I am not writing this letter to express my own offense to this doll. I am writing for the people who have no idea that this is not what a preemie baby looks like. I, and all of the other people who have written in, are educated and informed about the dangers of premature birth. But for each one of us I can only imagine that there are hundreds of younger, uneducated women that are or will become pregnant and don't take as good of care of themselves as they should because they are not concerned about the consequences. In their minds the worst case scenario is that they will have a baby that looks like Little Grace. And isn't a tiny baby cuter than a full term one anyway? It may sound far fetched to you but I work with children and teens who were so excited about how small my baby was. They thought it was cute that he could fit in the palm of my hand. If they had understood the seriousness of the situation, if they hadn't been exposed to false images, such as your Little Grace, then they never would have thought that a preemie was cuter than a healthy, full term baby. Luckily I was able to teach them the truth, but how many did I miss? How many babies will be born prematurely because of this preemie myth that you are helping to perpetuate?

As for your artist.... Here is a more realistic image of a "real life preemie".

?

Please understand our pain and take measures to put right the tremendous wrong you have created. These babies deserve so much more.

Proud parent of a Preemie

Melissa Bailey

http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/files/doll.html

Ah yes, exactly what it's really like.

I think there should be a beanie-baby next to her that is at least as large as she. Or maybe the wedding ring on her bicep.

Or the scalp IV is just sooo darling.

About the only thing they forgot was the price! Let's see I think it should be at least $500,000 but unexpectedly the cost could jump to as high as $1,000,000 and then you will have yearly costs incurred and will be required to send them an additional $200 per month until at least the age of 3....sheesh!

I do have to say that I cried when I saw the "realistic" depiction of the preemie doll. I hope that Ashton Drake and the artist will see that and KNOW that this is just part of what some of our kids went through. I remember very well Amanda's heels looking like hamburger meat...when I rub her feet now I can feel the scars left on her heels...it breaks my heart! I can also look at her arms and show you at least 6 places where IVs were placed. Sometimes the NICU experience seems so far away, sometimes it feels like just yesterday...

Hugs and tears!
Michele

I logged on today and saw the Ashton Drake Doll and was pissed. That is horrible. I was a fortunate mom, my 27 weeker was 2 lbs 10 oz and did amazing. He wowed all the doctors and came home at 4 lbs 10 oz. He was ironically 15 1/2 inches when he was born. He was beautiful to me, but that doll makes me so mad. He didn't look that "fat" until he was probably 3 months old. I am going to write my own letter and send another letter to John Stossel to see if it helps. If anyone finds out that they are going to do something about this please let me know.. the realistic preemie that someone modified was so true. That is what a preemie looks like just about 3 lbs thinner.. It was so real it hurt, and made me cry. But REAL it was. Congrats to whoever did that. And my lucky little preemie who was so much more fortunate than others came home with scars and a medical bill of 150,000 which we thought was a bargain. I wonder if Ashton Drake would like to send me 4 easy payments to take care of that one......
 Gunners mom
jmlucht@hotmail.com

Wow! You did such a great job of depicting the real premie doll. It was really hard to see that doll...memories just rushed back...kind of like it is very hard for me to watch "Special Delivery" or even shows about much further along...well intact families with quadruplets...it is just still very painful for me. This doll will take your breath away...

I only wish that Ashton Drake Co. has the opportunity to see THIS real preemie doll. If they are shocked, they should be...because the real deal is very shocking to us parents who have had to live through such a devastating experience!

How often do I wish that I could have done that one little obscure something that would have saved my kids from this experience....or at least got them further along than 25 weeks. How often I wish that Alex had not contracted that stupid infection through his central line...that he had been big enough to do the open heart surgery from the clot from the infection off of his central line...there is not a day that goes by...THESE are the FEELINGS real parents of preemie "dolls" struggles with....

Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *deceased*, Benjamin, Callie, and Donovan: 20 months)

I sent this letter out a while ago...and still awaiting a response:

Dear Mr. Tinberg:

As the President and CEO of a corporation that “strives to bring joy and happiness to the lives of your customers by fulfilling the emotional, psychological and aesthetic needs……..that are related to their expressed interests”, I hope that you will personally and respectfully read this letter with regard to the Ashton Drake’s Collectible “Preemie Doll”.

As a mother to a premature son, born 34 weeks on December 24, 1999 and diagnosed with Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), I am deeply concerned on the research that was done to develop such a “Preemie Doll”. Although I could reiterate to you what so many other “preemie parents” have expressed on the marketing of this “Preemie Doll”, which includes a very detailed image of their own children and the equipment and medical treatments involved for their little Preemie, their voice expresses my same sentiments. Many of these NICU (“Neonatal Intensive Care Unit”) Preemie Parents are probably the very customers who keep your corporation and its affiliates in business and that your mission statement is directed to. Although you value “Honesty, Fairness, Respect, Knowledge, Innovation, and Excellence”, the motivation, marketing and research of this “Preemie Doll”, clearly insults the integrity and dignity of these wonderful parents of premature children. This Collectible “Preemie Doll” sells for about $129, plus shipping and handling. A real Preemie’s stay in the hospital can run easily in excess of $100,000, plus continued medical expenses as they grow and face new challenges. These real preemies do not get “delivered” home in one or two days. In addition, the “Preemie Doll” demeans the very important work of an organization like the March of Dimes and their many supporters, who serves to educate all on prematurity and birth defects, provide continued support and resources to the NICU Parent of these wonderful preemies, and an untiring drive and commitment to continued research so that babies can be born healthy.

Your company and its affiliate companies failed to uphold your vision, mission and values when it neglected to do “real” research on the marketing of the “Preemie Doll”. Two important resources, the NICU Parent and their loving, miracle children were not important enough to consult. In addition, it is also evident that no one on your marketing staff actually visited a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit nor did they even consider consulting an organization familiar with premature births. Your corporation and its affiliates value “Excellence” and “maintain a distinguished reputation and leadership role……with an unswerving commitment to excellence in all aspects of your business”, yet a computer-generated form letter from a customer service representative has been the form of “excellence” your corporation has sent to these many NICU Parents. It is never too late to be educated on premature births, so I invite you to visit with the many parents whose letters you will receive. Read their stories, see their children, understand their journey. Then you will understand their “mission statement” and see their “vision” for our wonderful little miracles…..who are not “Collectible Preemie Dolls” (www.marchofdimes.com/share).

Very truly yours,

Brenda A. Rante

I am still waiting for my "automated response", but have sent a copy of this letter and a little more info to John Stossel at JohnStossel@abcnews.com. If we do not speak for our children and the many to come...who will! So proud to be in the greatest company of wonderful NICU Parents!!!

Brenda & Benjamin (34 weeker born 12/24/99 with NEC)

I decided that I wanted to have the artist's comment on this doll, so I googled and found their website from Belgium. The doll is just labeled, Little Grace, there is no other discription. This made me wonder if it was the artist's interpretation of a preemie or was their creation being marketed as something Ashton Drake thought would sell in the US. There is a huge language barrier, I tried to use an on-line interpreter to go between Dutch and English. The artist's husband wrote back in very broken English and this is what he said...

Hoy Michele

We speek into the name of all doll makers , when we make a baby it is not the purpose to heard or laughing
  with his or some problems . We make baby and Ashton drake is responsible for the publucity and distribution,
  what they doing abouth the publucity we have not eny dicission it is into Ashton drakes hands . So when they set it is a premie
  than it is a premie for us , when we make a real premie answer honnestly will you to buy that one please honnetly i think not correct.
  Several day people send us mail within the same question and some ways ruwe , we hade a baby boy and it live zeven days pray the lord
  that you baby stilll alive " We bring owner healthy babys after zeven day to the cemetery . !!! You think this is fanny !!!
  With all respect for you and the another people how have an premie , and it is certainely not owner purpose to heard or even laugh with people
  it is one of the reason may wife makes baby so shi can forget what with owner health baby was wrong . Kindest regards hugo & Tinneke

I have read this over many, many times. Discussed it with my husband and then read it again many, many times. What I came away with is this interpretation:

We speak in the name of all doll makers, when we make a baby it is not for the purpose to hurt or laugh at his or anyone’s problems. We make a baby and Ashton Drake is responsible for the publicity and distribution, what they are doing about the publicity, we have not any discussion, it is in Ashton Drake’s hands. So when they said it is a preemie, than it becomes a preemie to us, if we make a real preemie, now answer honestly, will you buy that one, please honestly, I think that is not correct. Several people a day send us mail with the same question and some are rude, we had a baby boy and it lived seven days, pray to the lord that your baby is still alive. We bring our healthy baby after seven days to the cemetery. You think this is fun? With all respect to you and the other people who have a preemie, it is certainly not our purpose to hurt or even laugh at people. The reason my wife makes a baby is so she can forget what with our healthy baby was wrong. Kindest regards Hugo & Tinneke.

It breaks my heart that they lost a baby after seven days, and a healthy full term baby at that. I do not think the artist is at fault here, I think it is the almighty $$$ that is ruling Ashton Drake and they are the ones to blame for this misrepresentation of a premature baby.

I do believe that Tinneke meant for the baby to be a celebration of life, but in no way do I believe that she meant for it to represent a premature baby that has spent time in the NICU.

I thought I would share this with you guys!!

Hugs!
Michele

Now their letter makes so much sense.

Thank you for sharing Michele,how sad for them to lose a babay that soon,and him being a healthy full term baby.

It's just so sad that the Ashton-Drake company is only looking out for themselves and their all mighty dollarIt's such a shame how they also use their doll makers in such a way,and then leave them in the middle of the cross fire so to speak when people lodge their complaints,and they have no idea what is going on.

Again thank you for sharing their letter.I still never received a reply back for the company after sending off my letter,but I guess that they jut got tired of responding.Take care,and have a ver Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Deborah.

I read that letter and understood what he was saying immediately. How awful that she makes this doll in attempt to heal her hurt and grief from the son she lost and it gets marketed differently by a company unbeknownst to her. She only wants to heal. Now she is faced with the thought that her creations are causing pain to other parents for reasons beyond her control. I have a real sense of disappointment and heartbreak for the artist. If the letter is sincere, then Ashton-Drake is doing a disservice to her as an artist and the prematurity campaign. He even states in his letter if his wife made a real preemie doll, noone would buy it.
I wish I had some frequent flyer miles saved up, I'd take a transatlantic flight just to give the woman a hug. I am drafting another letter to Ashton-Drake. They've really outdone themselves this time. Sad thing is, I'm nolonger even shocked at this behavior from a capitalistic company. Anything for a buck!

Dear Parents of Premature children,

I read the translated letter that Michele so amazingly and eloquently presented for us to review...and I found myself at a loss for words. To lose a child, any child, no matter the gestational age is a loss that is reflected in every act that we ever perform thereafter. It is in how we smile at strangers...how we hold our children...how we comfort someone...how we face a new day...how we plan for the future...how we express ourself creatively...and this loss becomes a basic part of who we are as parents and people.

It reminds me that often times there is more to a story than we know at the time. This artistic woman and her husband have suffered a tremendous loss that is reflected in how they choose to live their lives. They only create something that comforts them on days that their loss hurts too much...it is something real and tangible that they can touch and view...an eternal baby...that will never grow up...a link to the past...a pause from their suffering...

It seems this family, all the way across the world, has become victims too of the Ashoton Drake company. This family, that has lost so much, has become a pawn in a global idolization of money.

They create a doll because it makes them feel like parents. Their creation is shipped to Ashton Drake, and this company markets it in any fashion that will bring them the biggest paycheck. The family is not really concerned with what Ashton Drake does, because their private interpretation of their beloved dead child is on the shelves and in the homes of many families who will love the doll. What joy that doll brings to families who really do not understand prematurity!

And then across the world we are here on SHARE, parents of preemies who are outraged that this doll exists. That the matter of prematurity has so blantently and uncaringly been promotionalized and exaggerated to the point that a chubby, beautiful doll is what the general public will see and know about prematurity. We have our own wounds...our own suffering...and this doll just pours salt into those wounds...we are a community of angry parents who advocate on behalf of our children, volunteer for the March of Dimes, and donate money to any cause that helps premature children live a better life.

So then there are still a few things that are very clear to me. 1.) apparently everyone agrees that no one would want to buy a doll that truly depicts what a premature child would look like...it is not pleasing to look at or think about... 2.) Ashton Drake has an ethical and moral responsibility to change what this doll represents...3.) Little Grace, can grace shelves of Ashton Drake stores for the end of time...BUT they need to come up with another promotional scheme to market this little beauty 4.)This doll was born out of love...and is now under attack...for the sake of the family who created her, I want her to stay...but I want her to exist as a doll that we all can love the idea of, surely Ashton Drakes articulate and creative marketing department can make up a better story for why the public should buy this doll.

Best Wishes, Melissa Middleton (mom of 25 wk'r quads. Alex *deceased*, Ben, Callie, and Donovan:20 months)

I am shocked by this company, but as said above, not necessarily surprised anymore. I just received my response from the company, from a Donald James. Essentially, they are sorry our feelings were hurt, but a lot of money was spent on test marketing it and advertising it so they can't change anything at this point (ie, they won't change anything because they don't want t lose money). I think they test marketed the wrong group of people. I don't think it would have taken much research to Google prematurity, come up with the March of Dimes, and talk to them about the ramifications of selling a doll like this. Anyway, according to Mr. James, a portion of the proceeds from each doll sold in the US will be donated to MOD (I just wonder what portion).

I wrote to Mr. James. Will you please post his response online? I am eager to read it in its entirity. *sigh*