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Imagine...
Michele Reeves - 10:28am Oct 15, 2005 EST
2004 National Ambassador Mom
Another on-line group that I belonged to was challenged to write an "Imagine" poem. I found this to be difficult, but healing...you might give it a try!! I wrote this when Amanda was about 9 months old.
Imagine....finally finding the man of your dreams and
blending two families into one.
Imagine....getting pregnant, exciting the whole family,
only to miscarry 8 weeks later.
Imagine.....getting pregnant 5 months after a miscarriage
and just praying that they see a heartbeat at the first
ultrasound.
Imagine.....seeing that heartbeat and praying that it will
go on and on.
Imagine....the only OB visit your husband doesn't go to,
the doctor tells you to rush right to the hospital.
Imagine....being 26 weeks pregnant and your OB asking you
if you believe in prayer, then encourages you to pray
because he doesn't have any other answers.
Imagine....being awakened at 6AM and told that you will be
told within the hour whether they were going to "take" your
baby, and they have already predicted that she weighs less
than a pound.
Imagine....during the hour of waiting, not only for the
news but for your husband to arrive at the hospital, you
plan your baby's funeral if she dies, name her if she turns
out to be a him, pick out what she will wear to be buried
in, pick out what he will wear to be buried in, pray for
the best, but plan for the worst.
Imagine....the docs telling you that your baby will be born
today at 26 weeks gestation, but they can't guarantee the
baby's outcome.
Imagine....calling your family that live 850 miles away and
them rushing to your side, not knowing when they get there
if their daughter or granddaughter will be alive.
Imagine....everyone else getting to see your baby before
you do.
Imagine....every hormone in your body screaming for the
baby that is struggling for life in the NICU.
Imagine....seeing that tiny 1 lb. 7 oz. baby for the first
time almost 30 hours after her birth, realizing that she is
yours only because your name is on the incubator and crying
because you don't know if you will hurt her if you touch
her.
Imagine....leaving that tiny baby at the hospital while you
go home, with every fiber of your being telling you this is
the wrong thing to do, that this isn't the way it should be
happening.
Imagine....walking into your living room after your
discharge from the hospital and finding the bassinet, the
only piece of furniture you have bought for your baby and
you don't know when or if she will be lying in it.
Imagine.....having to tell your four year old son, who was
promised that his sister would still be in Mommy's tummy
when he got home from vacation with his Dad, that his baby
sister has been born but has to stay in the hospital and we
don't know when she will be coming home.
Imagine....having to wait 13 days to hold your tiny baby
and when you finally do she is as light as a feather, you
hold her for 15 minutes and then kiss her for the first
time, before having to put her back to bed, not knowing
when you will get to hold her again.
Imagine....hearing the dreaded news "your baby is very
sick" and "we are hoping for a good outcome".
Imagine....the day you see your baby's face for the first
time without any tape on it.
Imagine....missing your baby's first bath because the nurse
couldn't wait until you were there.
Imagine....waking up from a nightmare that your baby had
died and you weren't there.
Imagine....watching another baby in the NICU die, knowing
that grieving mother could have been you.
Imagine....finally seeing your baby with clothes on.
Imagine....finally getting to take your baby home at 3 lbs
10.2 oz, after 12 weeks in the NICU.
Imagine....that in 6 short months, your baby is off oxygen,
off the monitor, is laughing, cooing, going, smiling,
laughing, and weighs 10 lbs.
Just imagine...........
Now almost 7 years later, I would add..
Imagine....reading back over this and realizing that what you had written would be read by many moms in the same situation.
Imagine....that today Amanda is a happy, healthy, 7 year old and is in 2nd grade.
Imagine....that a national organization like the March of Dimes has taken on our cause of prematurity in hopes of finding an answer to this growing crisis!
Imagine....the day when a family searches the Internet for information and is able to find SHARE. A beautiful site for families just like theirs where they can find hope, inspiration, and some answers.
Imagine....being able to turn this life altering, tragic journey into something that can help many, many other people!
Imagine....meeting people from around the nation that you have an instant bond with and gain some life long friends!
Imagine....that you are reading this because you and I are friends!!
HUGS!
Michele
P.S. Now it is your turn to imagine!!
2004 National Ambassador Mom
Another on-line group that I belonged to was challenged to write an "Imagine" poem. I found this to be difficult, but healing...you might give it a try!! I wrote this when Amanda was about 9 months old.
Imagine....finally finding the man of your dreams and
blending two families into one.
Imagine....getting pregnant, exciting the whole family,
only to miscarry 8 weeks later.
Imagine.....getting pregnant 5 months after a miscarriage
and just praying that they see a heartbeat at the first
ultrasound.
Imagine.....seeing that heartbeat and praying that it will
go on and on.
Imagine....the only OB visit your husband doesn't go to,
the doctor tells you to rush right to the hospital.
Imagine....being 26 weeks pregnant and your OB asking you
if you believe in prayer, then encourages you to pray
because he doesn't have any other answers.
Imagine....being awakened at 6AM and told that you will be
told within the hour whether they were going to "take" your
baby, and they have already predicted that she weighs less
than a pound.
Imagine....during the hour of waiting, not only for the
news but for your husband to arrive at the hospital, you
plan your baby's funeral if she dies, name her if she turns
out to be a him, pick out what she will wear to be buried
in, pick out what he will wear to be buried in, pray for
the best, but plan for the worst.
Imagine....the docs telling you that your baby will be born
today at 26 weeks gestation, but they can't guarantee the
baby's outcome.
Imagine....calling your family that live 850 miles away and
them rushing to your side, not knowing when they get there
if their daughter or granddaughter will be alive.
Imagine....everyone else getting to see your baby before
you do.
Imagine....every hormone in your body screaming for the
baby that is struggling for life in the NICU.
Imagine....seeing that tiny 1 lb. 7 oz. baby for the first
time almost 30 hours after her birth, realizing that she is
yours only because your name is on the incubator and crying
because you don't know if you will hurt her if you touch
her.
Imagine....leaving that tiny baby at the hospital while you
go home, with every fiber of your being telling you this is
the wrong thing to do, that this isn't the way it should be
happening.
Imagine....walking into your living room after your
discharge from the hospital and finding the bassinet, the
only piece of furniture you have bought for your baby and
you don't know when or if she will be lying in it.
Imagine.....having to tell your four year old son, who was
promised that his sister would still be in Mommy's tummy
when he got home from vacation with his Dad, that his baby
sister has been born but has to stay in the hospital and we
don't know when she will be coming home.
Imagine....having to wait 13 days to hold your tiny baby
and when you finally do she is as light as a feather, you
hold her for 15 minutes and then kiss her for the first
time, before having to put her back to bed, not knowing
when you will get to hold her again.
Imagine....hearing the dreaded news "your baby is very
sick" and "we are hoping for a good outcome".
Imagine....the day you see your baby's face for the first
time without any tape on it.
Imagine....missing your baby's first bath because the nurse
couldn't wait until you were there.
Imagine....waking up from a nightmare that your baby had
died and you weren't there.
Imagine....watching another baby in the NICU die, knowing
that grieving mother could have been you.
Imagine....finally seeing your baby with clothes on.
Imagine....finally getting to take your baby home at 3 lbs
10.2 oz, after 12 weeks in the NICU.
Imagine....that in 6 short months, your baby is off oxygen,
off the monitor, is laughing, cooing, going, smiling,
laughing, and weighs 10 lbs.
Just imagine...........
Now almost 7 years later, I would add..
Imagine....reading back over this and realizing that what you had written would be read by many moms in the same situation.
Imagine....that today Amanda is a happy, healthy, 7 year old and is in 2nd grade.
Imagine....that a national organization like the March of Dimes has taken on our cause of prematurity in hopes of finding an answer to this growing crisis!
Imagine....the day when a family searches the Internet for information and is able to find SHARE. A beautiful site for families just like theirs where they can find hope, inspiration, and some answers.
Imagine....being able to turn this life altering, tragic journey into something that can help many, many other people!
Imagine....meeting people from around the nation that you have an instant bond with and gain some life long friends!
Imagine....that you are reading this because you and I are friends!!
HUGS!
Michele
P.S. Now it is your turn to imagine!!
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