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Stephen Alexander 9/1/10
j_taylor21 - 06:42pm Mar 29, 2011 EST
On Tuesday 8/31 I started having really pad pains in my belly and all around to my back. It was a constant pain, not like contractions. The pain started around 11am, and I called my OB around 1:30. They told me what I was feeling was not contractions, and to lay down and see if they go away or to start timing them.
The pain kept getting worse, it was not like contractions, it was constant and very painful. So I called back around 3:30 and they said to go ahead to L&D just in case and to get checked out.
We get to L&D around 4:15pm and they hooked me up to some monitors. They couldn't find his heartbeat so they paged my doctor to come and do a sonogram. I was in so much pain I could barely speak. My entire left side hurt to the touch, and the baby was pushed up against the top of my stomach, but not moving. My stomach was completely hard like a contraction that wouldn't go away.
When my doctor came in and started the sonogram she confirmed there was no heartbeat, but still had another doctor come in to verify that. My husband and I were hysterical - We had lost our son.
After this they told me they would have to induce me but I could wait if I wanted to. I said no, I needed to get him out. So they sent me to L&D, started the Pitocin and an epidural. My water broke on it's own right before they put the Epidural in.
My OB told me the placenta had detached from my uterus and that cut off oxygen from my baby. It had happened so fast; I know I felt him moving that very morning. They couldn't tell me what caused it. They did ask if I had fallen or been in an accident. Since none of those were the case they couldn't tell me what went wrong.
We started pitocin around 6pm, my water broke on its own around 7. By about 12:30am I was 10 centimeters and started pushing. My beautiful son, Stephen Alexander, was stillborn at 1:13am on 9/1/10, weighing 5lb15oz, 20 inches long. I was 37 weeks 1 day pregnant.
The delivery was incredibly frightening. I was losing a lot of blood from the abruption. My doctor was very straightforward and honest. Basically she told us my platelet count was so low I would not be able to clot myself, therefore surgery was out of the question. She said I would not survive. She also was very forthcoming that it was a definite possibility that if the bleeding wasn't under control after delivery she may have to perform a hysterectomy. Fortunately after delivery the bleeding had stopped. However, I had lost too much blood and my platelets were still dangerously low, so they sent me to ICU where I stayed for two days. I received 6 bags of IV blood, 3 bags of platelets, and antibiotics because I had started running a fever right after delivery. My blood pressure was skyrocketing and breathing became very difficult. They realized that all of the IV fluids they had given me, in addition to all of the blood, plasma, and platelets, were getting around my lungs. It was a catch 22. The fluids were 100% necessary but it was hindering my ability to breath. After some medicine and oxygen it did get better.
I stayed in the ICU for two days and spent another two on the postpartum floor. Alex was with us for about two days when we gave him up. I know now that we shouldn't have had him that long but I couldn't let him go. Finally my husband and father pursuaded me to let the nurses take him. I cannot imagine anything more difficult than what I had to do that day.
The final diagnosis is that I had developed pre-eclampsia, and all the symptoms of HELLP Syndrome without elevated liver enzymes. They're telling me I have a 20-25% chance of this happening in another pregnancy.
I will never forget my baby boy, he'll always be in my heart.
It has been almost 7 months since we lost him and, while the pain has not gotten any less, I have learned how to function with it. I think about him hundreds of times a day and I know I'm still dealing. I know I don't work as hard as I used to. I simply do not care about my work much anymore. I'd much rather spend time with my husband, puppy, and family. That is what is important. Money is important but it's nothing compared to my family.
On Tuesday 8/31 I started having really pad pains in my belly and all around to my back. It was a constant pain, not like contractions. The pain started around 11am, and I called my OB around 1:30. They told me what I was feeling was not contractions, and to lay down and see if they go away or to start timing them.
The pain kept getting worse, it was not like contractions, it was constant and very painful. So I called back around 3:30 and they said to go ahead to L&D just in case and to get checked out.
We get to L&D around 4:15pm and they hooked me up to some monitors. They couldn't find his heartbeat so they paged my doctor to come and do a sonogram. I was in so much pain I could barely speak. My entire left side hurt to the touch, and the baby was pushed up against the top of my stomach, but not moving. My stomach was completely hard like a contraction that wouldn't go away.
When my doctor came in and started the sonogram she confirmed there was no heartbeat, but still had another doctor come in to verify that. My husband and I were hysterical - We had lost our son.
After this they told me they would have to induce me but I could wait if I wanted to. I said no, I needed to get him out. So they sent me to L&D, started the Pitocin and an epidural. My water broke on it's own right before they put the Epidural in.
My OB told me the placenta had detached from my uterus and that cut off oxygen from my baby. It had happened so fast; I know I felt him moving that very morning. They couldn't tell me what caused it. They did ask if I had fallen or been in an accident. Since none of those were the case they couldn't tell me what went wrong.
We started pitocin around 6pm, my water broke on its own around 7. By about 12:30am I was 10 centimeters and started pushing. My beautiful son, Stephen Alexander, was stillborn at 1:13am on 9/1/10, weighing 5lb15oz, 20 inches long. I was 37 weeks 1 day pregnant.
The delivery was incredibly frightening. I was losing a lot of blood from the abruption. My doctor was very straightforward and honest. Basically she told us my platelet count was so low I would not be able to clot myself, therefore surgery was out of the question. She said I would not survive. She also was very forthcoming that it was a definite possibility that if the bleeding wasn't under control after delivery she may have to perform a hysterectomy. Fortunately after delivery the bleeding had stopped. However, I had lost too much blood and my platelets were still dangerously low, so they sent me to ICU where I stayed for two days. I received 6 bags of IV blood, 3 bags of platelets, and antibiotics because I had started running a fever right after delivery. My blood pressure was skyrocketing and breathing became very difficult. They realized that all of the IV fluids they had given me, in addition to all of the blood, plasma, and platelets, were getting around my lungs. It was a catch 22. The fluids were 100% necessary but it was hindering my ability to breath. After some medicine and oxygen it did get better.
I stayed in the ICU for two days and spent another two on the postpartum floor. Alex was with us for about two days when we gave him up. I know now that we shouldn't have had him that long but I couldn't let him go. Finally my husband and father pursuaded me to let the nurses take him. I cannot imagine anything more difficult than what I had to do that day.
The final diagnosis is that I had developed pre-eclampsia, and all the symptoms of HELLP Syndrome without elevated liver enzymes. They're telling me I have a 20-25% chance of this happening in another pregnancy.
I will never forget my baby boy, he'll always be in my heart.
It has been almost 7 months since we lost him and, while the pain has not gotten any less, I have learned how to function with it. I think about him hundreds of times a day and I know I'm still dealing. I know I don't work as hard as I used to. I simply do not care about my work much anymore. I'd much rather spend time with my husband, puppy, and family. That is what is important. Money is important but it's nothing compared to my family.
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