lomitachicken
- Oct 12, 2011 5:57 pm
(#12 Total: 21)
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mom to Seth a 23 week miracle! and Shelby F/T |
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December will mark my preemie's 12th birthday....and with every birthday the same memories and feelings come flooding back as well. And it's ok, it's normal. We will always morn the loss of our pregnancy and the traumatic welcoming of our too small and too early babies. But when you see your miracle having their first birthday, even though it wasn't "supposed" to be their birthday yet, take a moment to enjoy the look on your child's face and remeber how incredibly blessed we are to have such a miracle 
Jenn
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HOLLYK108
- Oct 19, 2011 2:31 pm
(#13 Total: 21)
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Jenn,
Your 23-weeker is 12?! That really is miraculous!
The first birthday went ok. I cried a little when my son woke up that morning. Then it was so busy getting ready for his little party that I was not really able to dwell too much. Which is really good! Kind of a cool side note the NICU reunion for all the NICU grads of his hospital was the morning of his birthday. I got to have his picture taken that morning with his nurses and the doc who treated him at birth. He loved it because he's obsessed with dogs and got to play with the doggie therapy dogs who made a guest apprence It was kind of crazy and awesome to see those ppl and even the dogs again. Knowing they are still out there doing what they do, saving babies and healing families.
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stacyat
- Oct 19, 2011 6:31 pm
(#14 Total: 21)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Aww, that sounds like a beautiful birthday celebration for your sweet guy!! I love that you were able to see all his nurses and doctors a year after his birth! Hugs!
Stacy
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Ally_Alex_Alivia's_mom
- Oct 24, 2011 1:26 am
(#15 Total: 21)
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Hollyk108- Hope the birthday went great. I can tell you from experience, 7 years later, I still think about and miss the things that I didn't get to do with my daughter like holding or seeing her for the first two days of her life and leaving the hospital with out her. I did really well leaving the hospital, it was when my husband and I got to the hotel that we were going to stay at (because the hospital that our daughter was in was so far from our home) that I really broke down. I can remember him telling me that I just needed to go take a nap because I was exhausted and he went to go get groceries. I think I laid in bed and cried the whole time he was gone. I can chuckle at this now (and often tease him that I just need to go take a nap), because I know that after not leaving my side for 5 days, he was the one that needed the break. At the time though he didn't even get how I felt or why it absolutely tore me apart to leave her. I think you have to be a mom and have been in this situation to fully understand how you feel and that you never really get over it, rather you find a way to cope and have peace with in yourself. I will always miss those things that I didn't have the chance to do, but thank God everyday that I have my little girl and that I got to experience some of those things with my other children.
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Evan0409
- Dec 2, 2011 7:57 pm
(#16 Total: 21)
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Hello, Oh boy do I understand your feeling. My son was 10 weeks early. Thank God he has done so well, but those months after he was born was really hard. I wanted to get pregnant again so I could go through the whole process that I felt I missed out on. Approaching his 1st birthday was so difficult - re-living what we went through. I had such a hard time the day before and the day of, but I was SOOO very thankful that he was with us and had gotten passed all the large hurdles that he had get over in his first few months. I think as time goes on each birthday gets easier. I didn't feel the same on his 2nd birthday. I just enjoyed my boys special day and said some silent prayers.
Going through what you went through is very hard for anyone to understand unless they have gone through it also. I had some really unkind comments sent my way throughout our whole ordeal and had to be so strong in the NICU when I was the only one there with my son during his difficult days. I feel that is just what a true Mother does. That is why we are who we are. Enjoy your babies 1st birthday and try and think of all the positives. They grow up fast!!!
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wilsonlynn9
- Jan 5, 2012 4:07 pm
(#17 Total: 21)
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Good morning! I went through the exact same feelings that you are describing; my baby was born at 27 weeks and was in the NICU for 5 months and had 8 surgeries. She came home with a trach and a g tube in December of 2009. Today she is a normal, trach and g tube free and has the vocabulary of a 3 to 4 year old! I look at her and the light that she exudes and decided that the journey to get her to me is over; now I live and appreciate each day for what it is without looking to the past and what I missed out on. Live in the now....that is the best advice that I can give to you...I feel your pain but being in the now is the fastest way to true hapiness! xoxo to you and your amazing baby!
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tucker'smom
- Jan 5, 2012 6:34 pm
(#18 Total: 21)
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Mom to Tucker (27 weeker, 05/26/06) |
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Hello wilsonlynn9, My son Tucker is 5, he also had a trach until he was 4, and he still has his g-button. I agree, it is amazing to look at where they were at birth and to see how far they have come. I also had all of the same positive and negative emotions surrounding Tucker's first birthday; in fact, every birthday is very emotional, but they get much more joyous as time goes on. Facing your preemie's birthday forces you to almost relive the birth, and really think about details that you put aside for the rest of the year. It's also a time to think about where your child could have been at this age, but for the premature birth. It's totally normal to acknowledge these feelings and try to work through them, while at the same time being so excited and proud that your little one made it through his or her first year Hugs,
Leigh
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HOLLYK108
- Jan 8, 2012 5:43 am
(#19 Total: 21)
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It seems I got thru the birthday better than today. My son was supposed to be a December baby, but he wasn't. Of course, to rub some salt in my wounds my husband has a cousin who has had a baby this past December full term and right about at my original due date. They had the baby shower for that baby tonight. My son was not at his. He was at home as he couldn't be around people for eight months after he was born, rsv risk. Going to that baby shower just reminds me of everything I missed out on again. I know someday. Decemeber 17 will pass I won't connect it so heavily with my son. His actual birthday will be the day. That time just isn't now. Sadly enough. To top it all off on Dec 15 of this yr. I had a very early very unexpected miscarriage. Just another thing to stress about I guess. Thanks to everyone who has posted on here. I am glad to see so many people have the same feelings, that I am not a selfish freak for not being just happy with what I have. That my feelings are normal. To the two moms above me. I hope your children are healthy enough to see those g-tubes gone soon enough. Much love and prayers. You have endured and come thru so much more than I can even imagine!
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stacyat
- Jan 8, 2012 7:28 pm
(#20 Total: 21)
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Mom to Emilyn and Hailey (our 20 week angels) and Elim (our 38 week, full term miracle)! |
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Huge hugs, I'm sorry for the things that you missed out on with your little guy because he was born early, and for the little one you lost so close to what your son's birthday should have been. I think the things you are feeling are totally normal, you've lost a dream, of the perfect pregnancy, delivery and healthy baby, and it's ok to mourn that, and ok to mourn the should have beens. Huge huge hugs.
Stacy
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esgf
- Jan 9, 2012 1:39 pm
(#21 Total: 21)
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Abigail's Mom (29 weeks, 3/21/05) |
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I hope today is better than yesterday and the day before than that. The unexpected days are the ones that catch us off guard but we all still have them. Somedays seeing a maternity store makes me sad and it has been almost 7 years. More than not now I am okay but it is the unpredictability that is almost worse.
I hope today is a good day.
Ellen
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