New to Share? Introduce yourself & say Hello!

Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl. This is a great place to find others that understand.

Katie

My name is Saidy. My baby girl Edith passed away one week ago. It has been excruciating. She had a condition which I also have called spondylo ephipheseal dysplasia and lung disease. Both were lethal, her ribcage was so small not allowing her lungs to fully expand. She was born on February 3rd at 7:48 am, and passed February 15th at 2 pm. Her time here was short but also very meaningful. She was born at 39 weeks. THe doctors knew that she was an SED baby but did not know she had bad lungs or a bad ribcage. My husband and I continue to hurt and remember her. This is tough.

Welcome to Share Saidy. I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet Edith. You've come to the right place to find support from other mommas. Please know I will keep you in my thoughts.

Lauren

Hello I'm new to this so let me start at the beginning. I had my first son Dokken at 40 wks to the day 10/18/10. Found out 8/4/11 I was pregnant again. Didn't make it very far started bleeding in the end of Oct. Then on November 2nd I woke up and felt as if I had wet the bed. Didn't really think much of it but 2 days later it happened again called my dr and he told me to go the er I was only 19wks so there wasn't to much the could do. I was in and out of the er for a few more weeks the stayed at 22 for a wk with antibiotics. Then sent to a level 5 hospital and was there til his birth 1/2/12 28wks 5days gestationhe was in the level 5 hospital for a mmonth and 4 days then transported closer to home. He is on 3 liters of pressure and in between 21-25% oxygen he had a brain bleed which I didn't find out about till he wastransferred closer he also has VSD. We still have month or so before he can come home This so hard. But I'm truly blessed with my 2 boys.Well thanks for reading sorry its so long.

Welcome! Hang in there. I pray that your little one will be fine.

Hello,my name is Taki I am a mother of 2 beauutiful kids. My first child was a full term healthy pregnancy but my second wasn't. I was induced at 32 weeks due to severe preeclampsia.She was 3lbs 10oz,stayed in the NICU for over. 2weeks to gain weight.although I don't remember much of anything due to the fact,I was under a lot of meds for the Preeclampsia. A year later she's as healthy as can be and has beat a lot of the odds.
 

Hello Taki and welcome to Share! I'm so glad to hear that your little girl is doing fantastic after such an early arrival!
Stacy

Welcome to Share, Taki. I am so happy to hear that your daughter is doing so well! Thanks for sharing!

Katie

Hello everyone,

My name is Jim and I am new to share. I have a 28 month old toddler named Stella who was a 23 week micro preemie. She was born on October 20th 2009 at 1 pound 6 ounces and spent 200 days in the NICU at Henry Ford Hospital Detroit. Stella had just about every major medical problem on the preemie check list but survived them all and is now a healthy happy 2 year old. You can read all about Stella's medical problems and her journey in my profile and on my blog which is called "Stella's Daddy Speaks". My goal in posting this blog is to help other NICU parents by sharing our story and my advice for getting through the NICU journey. I don't have all of the answers, but we did spend 7 months in the NICU and we did go through almost every major medical procedure that a preemie could have, so I do have some helpful guidance to offer if you would like it. I hope some of you who are going through this experience now will take advantage of my offer and contact me for any help that you may need. I am always willing to listen and to talk.

Welcome to Share, Jim! Stella is so adorable! It's always so nice to see dad's on here, totally different perspective.

Katie

Hi Jim! Welcome to Share! I just want to squeeze Stella...such a cutie with her glasses! Keep us updated on things, definetly keep coming back.
Love and light,
Liz

Hi, my name is Megan (Meg for short). I have 2 daughters, Arianna and Gabriella. Arianna was a full term baby, and Gabriella was a premature baby. Glad to find this site.

Hi everyone. My name is Courtney and I live in Illinios. Im 29 and have been married to my husband Scott for about 1 1/2 years. Ive just recently became a mommy to an angel. I had my sweet baby Savannah Rae on 2/27/12, she only weighed 1lb and 9oz. She was in the NICU for 4 days before going to heaven. Im so heart broken and have never been so sad. She is so beautiful and I miss her so much. I feel if I talk to others who have gone through a similar thing might help me through this a little easier.

Helo Meg and welcome to Share! I look forward to reading more about you and your girls!

Hello Courtney and welcome to Share. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little Savannah. You have definitely come to the right place, I found share about two weeks after losing my twin girls and it has truly been my lifeline. It's so comforting talking to other women who know what I have been through. Many hugs to you.

Hey, my name is Miranda. Me and my ex had our first baby Adisyn on February 7th 2012. I was not due til march 17th but when I went in for my regular check up and my ultra sound that day, me and my ex found out that Adisyn had passed away a couple days prior. I just turned 34 weeks and had to go through the labor. Knowing Adisyn was not alive made it even harder on me to go through the labor. Me and my ex are taken things really hard. Everyone keeps telling me that it would be better on my behalf if i seek help to get through this. i am having a hard time talking about what i am going through and letting people in to help me cope with my loss.

Miranda- I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Adisyn- I love her name. This is a wonderful place to meet other mommas who have been through similar situations. The pain of loosing a child is unbearable, sharing the journey with others eases this pain.

Meg- Welcome to Share! I hope you will share your girls' stories here!

Courtney- I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your lil' Savannah. It's a pain no mommy should ever know yet so many of us do. I hope you find a measure of peace here as I have. The mommas around here are awesome and so supportive.

Miranda, Courtney, Welcome to Share!
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Please know you are not alone in this. Please, come by anytime you need to vent, cry, laugh or just sit.

Meg, welcome to Share as well! Please keep us updated and continue to share of your girls!

Love and light,
Liz

Hello Everyone
My name is Leah, am 28 years old, and I am a brand new mommy to a beautiful little boy that we named Charles Xavier (Charlie X!) He was delivered by emergency c-section on 01/18/2012 at 9:07pm at 29wks3days and is now 6 weeks + 3 days old He has been in the NICU this whole time, and we aren't exactly sure when we can take him home. His birth weight was just 2lb 4oz... he was growth restricted due to issues surrounding the beginnings of what could have turned into some severe pre-eclampsia The whole situation was quite shocking, as everything was going perfectly fine and looked great when we had an ultrasound at 23 weeks... he was on target for size and was very active! We had a routine follow up ultrasound at 29 weeks, and went into that appointment thinking everything was just peachy... but it wasn't. That's when they discovered that there was a reverse flow in the umbilical cord and he was growth restricted. I was immediately admitted to the hospital with a blood pressure of 190/100 and put on magnesium sulfate (that stuff sure was HORRIBLE!! I'm sure other mommies know just what i mean when i say HORRIBLE!) and IV labetalol to lower blood pressure. I was also given 2 steroid shots to help his lungs develop better and prepare for the emergency c-section. The whole experience was one of the scariest things I have ever had to go through in my life.. up until this point in my life, i had never even had minor surgery.. i didn't know what to expect and certainly did NOT expect for him to be born so soon and by c-section.

If not for having the ultrasound appointment when I did, both me and my baby could have died... and I wouldn't have even known it was coming Thankfully we did have that appointment though, and I am here to tell you all about my story..

Charlie truly is our little miracle... he is strong, he is feisty.. we can already tell that he is going to be VERY opinionated once he is old enough to express himself in that way! He is getting bigger every day and is now 3lb 7oz (as of yesterday).... Having a baby in the NICU is SO HARD and such an emotional experience... there really is no way of explaining it to anyone who doesn't know exactly what you are going through because they have to experience it themselves to truly understand... I know he is in good hands in the NICU, but I wish that he was still growing inside of me... if he was, I would be 36 weeks pregnant now. I am back at work until he is discharged so that I can use the rest of my maternity leave time for when he comes home. All I want to do is just be with him right now, so being at work is pretty emotional for me.... everyone keeps asking "when is charlie coming home!?", but the answer to that is still unknown. And it really really really sucks. A couple of weeks ago, I was having a really bad day emotionally and I was actually told by my manager and a coworker that I should "toughen up" and "suck it up". They just don't understand AT ALL

All Charlie needs to do now is get bigger!! He is 1550 grams and needs to be 1700-1800 grams to go into an open crib, until then he is staying in his little "house" as the nurses like to call it. I visit him every day after work and stay there for as long as I possibly can, but it's always SO HARD to leave and go home.. I have to though, I have to work in the AM... Time flies by so quickly when I"m there with him and soooo slowly while I'm at work. I would really like that warped time feeling to switch up now!! lol.

His nurses are all fantastic, and they all adore him.. they actually fight over who gets to be assigned to him and if they aren't assigned to him, they all check in on him while they are there. The nurses in the mom and baby unit were so wonderful as well, they come up to the NICU when they can to see how he is doing and leave me little notes if I am not there when they do. I feel really lucky that he has such an amazing team of nurses and doctors who really seem to truly care for and about him!! It still doesn't change the fact that he can't be at home with us yet I can't help but worry that something is going to go wrong, but i know that I am a giant worry wart and am definitely trying to stay way more positive then negative at this point.. it's all just SO EXHAUSTING... physically and emotionally...

I feel so lucky that he is doing as well as he is... reading some of the stories of babies that aren't doing so well or of ones that ultimately did not make it is utterly heart breaking I have all of you in my thoughts and really really hope that EVERYONE'S little babies pull through and grow to be strong and healthy little boys and girls

I guess I am writing this all on here because I really need the extra support system... I can't just hold in all that I am feeling.. if I do that, I will explode! It's nice to know that there are other mommies out there that can and will understand what i'm going through and that I can be there to support and help others as well. Being a NICU mom isn't easy, but it sure does make us stronger!!

Welcome Leah. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. What a little cutie. It does feel better sometimes just to be able to let it all out knowing that those that are listening have been through the same things that you have. Its definitely a tough situation, but you sound like a great mother. Hang in there!
Praying for continued progress and a speedy recovery for your little guy.
Chris

posting again as 1st appears not to have gone through.
Hi,
I wish I wasn't here. I ought to be a blissfully happy, naïve, and excited 7 months pregnant with my first child due May 10th. Instead I am trying to decide rather my son, James Michael born 24Jan12, would like a separate headstone in his own plot or share space in the cemetery with his granddad & have his name engraved on my father's headstone.

We did have two scary but hopeful days with James in the NICU and I am grateful for the blessing of having been able to meet my son, but hard to find much if any silver lining in his short life. James has changed my life completely and I am now so much more aware of what really matters. Just wish he was here with us to share in this new me.

I'm also thankful I will recover from the emergency c-section and the hemorrhaging did not require a hysterectomy (so someday if I'm brave I could try to have a little brother or sister for James) but it is so awful to have this physical pain from surgery and hormones and not have a baby.

James was perfect and fine and my pregnancy was uneventful until 23 weeks 5 days, when I started having contractions and dilated due to an extremely rare and undiagnosable placenta problem with no known cause (~1 in 20,000 to 1 in 40,000 pregnancies). The contractions were able to be stopped for one more day, but then the hemorrhaging started and James had to be born for both of our sakes at 23 weeks 6 days.

I so wish I wasn't here... wish I wasn’t trying to decide if being a mother for two days makes you a mother, wish I wasn’t left with a hole when what I want is my vision of the third trimester of pregnancy and a little bundle of baby at home, wish I wasn’t getting ready to go back to work after recovering from surgery since there’s no reason to take maternity leave… but here I am.

Natalie (James’s mom)

Natalie, hello and welcome to Share. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet James. Those decisions you are having to make for him right now are something no parent should ever even have to think about or consider even in their worst nightmares. I'm so sorry that they're a reality for you now. Losing a little one really does highlight the truly important things in life, everything else just seems so unimportant. The things you once stressed to the nth degree over you just brush off now. Tons of hugs to you, I hope that you find as much comfort and eventually hope here as I have over the past two years after losing my Emilyn and Hailey.
Stacy

Natalie,

I too am so sorry that you had to find your way here and for the loss of your sweet James. Thank you so much for sharing his sweet picture. I hope you find a measure of peace here as I have.

Lauren

Check out the new most rockin' Share March Shining Star! Goooooo Brooke!!

My write and illustrate picture books for children. My blog is called "On My Mind" and I usually post daily doodles, writing tips, story starters, and such for other authors and illustrators. Yesterday was the eight year anniversary of the birth of my twins who were born at 25 and a half weeks. I wrote a story - really a stream of consciousness of my story and posted it.

The post is called: Lion in the Storm. I am sure that many of you can identify with the feelings I express in this story. www.AlisonHertz.blogspot.com

Hi everyone, my name is Lorna.
I so wish i wasnt on here posting about my Angel, but i am and i am struggling to carry on with life as i knew it. My husband is being my extremally big rock at the moment. He is the most amazing man i know. Unfortunately i got to fullterm with my baby boy. Got to 41+3 (1st March 2012) when my body started to contract. I had a bath and they got worse and quickened. So i phoned the labour ward and they asked me to come in. They put me on a cgt machine and couldnt find his heart beat. So they got a doctor to perform a scan. She had to tell me and my husband that our babys heart had stopped. I cant even describe how i felt. Or even how my husband felt. We were distraught. Our lil boy would have been our first child together and we were so excited about becoming parents. I had to take some tablets to bring on the labour, doctor said that they would take 48hrs to work. But i was back at the hospital 6hrs later, in labour. Went through labour for 23hrs but couldnt dilate any further than 9cm. So had an emergency c-sec. Gave birth to our lil Angel Adrian James on 3rd March 2012. He was so beautiful. Its been nearly 3weeks and i am still trying so hard not to cry evertime i think of him. Its too quiet in our home. Me and my husband both feel their is a gap that needs to be filled by a baby. Just have to wait a while so my body can heal. Then we will try again. My heart goes out to every mummy and daddy on here that have lost a baby. Just rememeber you are Angel mummy's and Angel daddy's.

Hello, my name is Megan and my fiance and I spent a little longer then a month in the NICU at University of MD Hospital in Baltimore MD with our daugther. I was 35 weeks and 2 days when I told my fiance that I needed to go to the hospital cause something wasnt right. So, off to the hospital we went. My doctor was already at the hospital when I got there. They hooked me up to the monitors, the nurse didnt want to send me home. My doctor said that he would monitor me until 930. The nurse called my doctor at 930 ad told him that the baby had a big drop in her heart rate when I would have contractions. So, my doctor came back to the hospital, he said that he would monitor me for the night. So, they put me in a room and started an IV. At about 4 or 430 he came in and said that he was going to prep me for and emergency c section. She was born at 630 in the morning on February 2nd. He said that the only problems that we might be facing with her was he lungs. Well, she came out screaming. They did what they needed to do in the OR, then took her to the nursery. After a while the nurse came into my room and told me and her daddy that they were transporting her to the University of MD. Her platelets were very low. She was born with only 7,000 platelets. So, they took her to Baltimore and started giving her platelet and blood transfusions. They also gave her a medicine called IVIG to help her keep her platelets. She was starting to gain her own platelets and was doing great until the nurse taking care of her on Feb. 18th went to change her diaper and found a bloody stool. She had gotten an infection in her intestions called NEC. She had to have her feeds stopped and IV fluids started again and antibotics started. She had to have ultrasounds done also to keep an eye on her belly. After a ten day cycle of the antibotics, she was able to have her feeds started back up. She was discharged from the hospital on March 6th which is the day after her due date. The nurses and doctors at the University of Maryland Hoapital were AWESOME and saved my daugthers life.

Hey everyone. My name is Danielle. I'm 24 and my husband and I at 20 weeks found out we lost our baby boy. That was exactly 6 months ago. We were at our first ulrasound to find out if our baby was a boy or a girl. We both were extremely excited for this day to come. We were counting down the hours that day till we found out! We even were planning on registering at some stores that night because we were so excited. This was going to be our first child together so you can just imagine our excitement. So as the nurse was doing the ultrasound and we felt like something just wasnt right. Like she knew something was wrong. She left the room for awhile and my husband and I were just so confused wondering what was going on. We honestly waited 30 minutes till some other nurse came in. That was the longest 30 minutes of our lives. Just sitting there wondering what is going on and if everything is ok with our baby. The other nurse came in and told us to sit down and I just knew something was wrong. I broke down and thank god for my husband he was able to listen to the nurse and help calm me down at the same time. The nurse told us we lost our baby. I cant even begin to describe the feelings I had when she told us that. Its been a very hard 6 months.. An emotional rollercoaster. There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about our baby boy Casey. Somedays it comforts me knowing that one day, I will be able to meet my little angel in heaven.

Lorna and Danielle,

I'm so very sorry that you had to find us as a result of losing your babies. I lost my twin sons at 21 weeks two years ago and have been finding support and comfort here ever since. I hope that you will continue to post - maybe start a blog - to help process the many emotions that will come while grieving these unthinkable losses. Wishing you hope and healing.

Shannon

Hi courtney my name is Gloria I am 29 as well I know what u are going thru. This may seem weird but I to had my beautiful butterfly in Feb actually Feb 26, 2012 and her name was Savannah Rayne she was born at 16 weeks to the day. I had a rare infection called corro? which caused my water bag to break I was having Hi fever n my blood platelets was very low the Dr said there was a chance we both wouldnt make it. My daughter was strong she stayed alive with out the am biotic fluid from 1:30 pm to the next day 6:37 am. She weighed 2.5 ounces n was 6.25 inches long she was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen she was so tiny she was able to fit in my little hand. I was n still is very heart broken. We had a little service and buried her it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am still not fully heeled the DR hit a siatic nerve when he gave me the eperdorial so I have no movement in my right foot. I cry every day cause I miss her so much. Now that this has happened to me Im now really wanting to get more involved with March Of Dimes. I cant fully walk but I have signed myself up for two different walks her in Texas one in San antonio and Corpus Christi. I just feel I have to do this for my daughter If u need some one to talk to feel free to respond or email me gmt1105@yahoo.com

Hi! My Name is Tiffany. I am very new to this site. (This is actually my first time I have ever logged on.) I am really glad that I felt like I was ready to do this! --- I have lived through your situation-- almost exactly. My sweet NICU baby, is three years old now, and I am here to offer support in any way that I can.
After months and months of taking medications for infertility, I finally became pregnant! We were so happy and everything was great. We found out we were having a healthy baby boy at 20 weeks and could not have been happier. I was so nervous for our diagnostic ultrasound (at 20 weeks). I am a Pediatric Nurse. I see everyday, the possibilities of all of the things that can go wrong, and what life looks like after they do. I wouldn't let them tell us the gender of the baby until we got all of the other systems checked--- after I could breathe a sigh of relief... then lets get to the fun part! This behind us-- my fears were gone. I had nothing else that I was really worried about. And then I went back in for another ultrasound at 26 weeks (I was high risk because of the infertility drugs and my hormone levels). The ultrasound tech left the room to get the Specialist and I knew something was wrong. He came in and took some more images of the umbilical cord, and then sent me back downstairs to my Dr. My blood pressure was high, and I too had pre-eclampsia. -- WOW-- that really caught me off guard! My fingers had been swelling and so had my face when I look back at it, but I was just in too much of Cloud 9 to notice. I immediately went and got my steroid shots, and went on bedrest (I did not take any of this news without huge amounts of tears and hysteria) . I went in to see my Dr almost every other day most weeks. He let me manage it at home (the perk I guess of being a nurse) I had the huge blessing of having an amazing OB/GYN. It still never really occurred to me that I would have the baby early. I am not sure why... I mean, I know about this sort of thing! And then it happened. I was 29wks. I got very anxious and and had a severe pain going up my neck. The feeling I had I almost can't describe. I had called my husband -- and because he hadn't gotten home quite quickly enough, I also called my mother. My blood pressure wan 200/110. They both arrived at the same time and we left on our way to the hospital. I called my Dr on our way there. He met us when we got there-- and that is where my NICU Journey began. 29weeks1day. Born just after midnight that night. Hardly enough time for my mind to wrap completely around everything that had just happened. I prayed harder than I ever had before. Please God. Lay your hands on my baby. Let me keep him.Let him do well. Let him be healthy. Let him cry.... and HE DID! My 2lb 10 ounce blessing came into the world and cried- I needed that. To have some reassurance of life. I remember getting my epidural-- and loosing it completly on the table-- praying silently with more tears flowing, anxiously awaiting the moment that I would have some indication to how well he was doing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. He was intubated only long enough to get surfactant, and then was on bipap for 30 minutes- only because they thought he should be, and then he was on room air! Amazing!! --- As I am sure you are aware... most aren't! My OBGYN stopped by the room with him before he was whisped off to the NICU. My family by that time had made it there. I was glad they got to see him before he was all hooked up-- even if it was just a glance. That was very thoughtful. I don't remember how much sleep I got that night. I don't remember my husband going to the NICU and leaving me in my room, but I know that he did. I remember leaving my room to see him for the first time. I was overwhelmed by the fact that they asked me if I was "mom". All of the little things bothered me. He was so tiny and helpless... and perfect. I was lucky that I delivered in the hospital where I work. Even though I didn't know very many of the NICU nurses, I knew their supervisors and all of my managers/directors etc. came to check on us frequently. Word spreads quickly I suppose. Everyone was wonderful. I had familiar faces and people who knew me to talk to sometimes when I just needed to get out of the room. They aren't able to do much, but you just hate to leave them, even if you are just watching him sleep.... and we took hundreds of pictures.... to be able to take at least something home with us. I wasn't able to hold him until day 2. He liked being held. I was in Love instantly. My husband was too nervous other than to just look at him.. it took some time, but he came around. He was so tiny and fragile. Being discharged from the hospital made it so much harder. I stayed for 4 days because I had some renal issues related to the preeclampsia. It is crazy how it almost seems wrong that life outside of my bubble didn't stop because I needed it to! Bills still came, and dishes still piled up, and laundry still had to be done, and now I had a newfound chore of pumping every two hours that I didn't have before. (that would be a completely different story-- pumpling is hard core!) I can tell you that my credit is not what it once was! Some things just got away from me. --- NICU was hard.... harder than I thought it could be. I found myself feeling guilty about crying or being upset because I knew that my baby was doing much better than a lot of the other babies.... what should I have to cry about? There just wasn't anything about it that was easy! Not one bit! And no one really understood anything. Brayden was born February 29th 2009 and we were discharged April 6th 2009. I held my breathe during every test he had. Celebrated every NICU milestone and then all of the normal ones at home (much later of course). I have been blessed with a miracle. It doesn't stop once you get home. It is just easier. The whole process changes you forever, but I want you to know that you will get through it. You will look back on it often, and hopefully take the good from it. Brayden is perfect in every way now. He had minor surgery to repair hernias after we were discharged, You have a slow first year ahead of you. I know it is hard to even think that far ahead. It is true what they say... it goes by so fast! Brayden has done amazing! He is still very small for his age, but cognitively he is where he should be for his age (I think he may even be smarter!) He didn't have ROP or any Intracranial Hemmorages. I truely have been blessed with a miracle! I still look at him in awe of how far he has came. I hope my story has helped somehow. It is nice to get it all out. There is so much more. More than enyone else could possibly understand. Thank you. For posting, and then listening to me. -- Tiffany

Hi,I'm new to the nicu world.2 weeks ago I gave birth to a 26 weeker preemie.immediately she demanded a lot of oxygen from the jet machine and we were told she had bleeding in her brain.The doctors told us it was in two places of the brain that was very important to the walking,thinking,talking,etc..They said she would need early iintervention.I believe a lot of prayer goes along way,because now the bleeding has slowed and the swelling has gone down.Even though it doesn't mean she s not in the clearing,it still encourages me not to give up hope on her.Not to give in to the science part of life fully and remember that there is a spiritual part to.U and your family are in my prayers...These lil 1's are truly fighters....