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Hey everyone. My name is Danielle. I'm 24 and my husband and I at 20 weeks found out we lost our baby boy. That was exactly 6 months ago. We were at our first ulrasound to find out if our baby was a boy or a girl. We both were extremely excited for this day to come. We were counting down the hours that day till we found out! We even were planning on registering at some stores that night because we were so excited. This was going to be our first child together so you can just imagine our excitement. So as the nurse was doing the ultrasound and we felt like something just wasnt right. Like she knew something was wrong. She left the room for awhile and my husband and I were just so confused wondering what was going on. We honestly waited 30 minutes till some other nurse came in. That was the longest 30 minutes of our lives. Just sitting there wondering what is going on and if everything is ok with our baby. The other nurse came in and told us to sit down and I just knew something was wrong. I broke down and thank god for my husband he was able to listen to the nurse and help calm me down at the same time. The nurse told us we lost our baby. I cant even begin to describe the feelings I had when she told us that. Its been a very hard 6 months.. An emotional rollercoaster. There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about our baby boy Casey. Somedays it comforts me knowing that one day, I will be able to meet my little angel in heaven.

Lorna and Danielle,

I'm so very sorry that you had to find us as a result of losing your babies. I lost my twin sons at 21 weeks two years ago and have been finding support and comfort here ever since. I hope that you will continue to post - maybe start a blog - to help process the many emotions that will come while grieving these unthinkable losses. Wishing you hope and healing.

Shannon

Hi courtney my name is Gloria I am 29 as well I know what u are going thru. This may seem weird but I to had my beautiful butterfly in Feb actually Feb 26, 2012 and her name was Savannah Rayne she was born at 16 weeks to the day. I had a rare infection called corro? which caused my water bag to break I was having Hi fever n my blood platelets was very low the Dr said there was a chance we both wouldnt make it. My daughter was strong she stayed alive with out the am biotic fluid from 1:30 pm to the next day 6:37 am. She weighed 2.5 ounces n was 6.25 inches long she was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen she was so tiny she was able to fit in my little hand. I was n still is very heart broken. We had a little service and buried her it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am still not fully heeled the DR hit a siatic nerve when he gave me the eperdorial so I have no movement in my right foot. I cry every day cause I miss her so much. Now that this has happened to me Im now really wanting to get more involved with March Of Dimes. I cant fully walk but I have signed myself up for two different walks her in Texas one in San antonio and Corpus Christi. I just feel I have to do this for my daughter If u need some one to talk to feel free to respond or email me gmt1105@yahoo.com

Hi! My Name is Tiffany. I am very new to this site. (This is actually my first time I have ever logged on.) I am really glad that I felt like I was ready to do this! --- I have lived through your situation-- almost exactly. My sweet NICU baby, is three years old now, and I am here to offer support in any way that I can.
After months and months of taking medications for infertility, I finally became pregnant! We were so happy and everything was great. We found out we were having a healthy baby boy at 20 weeks and could not have been happier. I was so nervous for our diagnostic ultrasound (at 20 weeks). I am a Pediatric Nurse. I see everyday, the possibilities of all of the things that can go wrong, and what life looks like after they do. I wouldn't let them tell us the gender of the baby until we got all of the other systems checked--- after I could breathe a sigh of relief... then lets get to the fun part! This behind us-- my fears were gone. I had nothing else that I was really worried about. And then I went back in for another ultrasound at 26 weeks (I was high risk because of the infertility drugs and my hormone levels). The ultrasound tech left the room to get the Specialist and I knew something was wrong. He came in and took some more images of the umbilical cord, and then sent me back downstairs to my Dr. My blood pressure was high, and I too had pre-eclampsia. -- WOW-- that really caught me off guard! My fingers had been swelling and so had my face when I look back at it, but I was just in too much of Cloud 9 to notice. I immediately went and got my steroid shots, and went on bedrest (I did not take any of this news without huge amounts of tears and hysteria) . I went in to see my Dr almost every other day most weeks. He let me manage it at home (the perk I guess of being a nurse) I had the huge blessing of having an amazing OB/GYN. It still never really occurred to me that I would have the baby early. I am not sure why... I mean, I know about this sort of thing! And then it happened. I was 29wks. I got very anxious and and had a severe pain going up my neck. The feeling I had I almost can't describe. I had called my husband -- and because he hadn't gotten home quite quickly enough, I also called my mother. My blood pressure wan 200/110. They both arrived at the same time and we left on our way to the hospital. I called my Dr on our way there. He met us when we got there-- and that is where my NICU Journey began. 29weeks1day. Born just after midnight that night. Hardly enough time for my mind to wrap completely around everything that had just happened. I prayed harder than I ever had before. Please God. Lay your hands on my baby. Let me keep him.Let him do well. Let him be healthy. Let him cry.... and HE DID! My 2lb 10 ounce blessing came into the world and cried- I needed that. To have some reassurance of life. I remember getting my epidural-- and loosing it completly on the table-- praying silently with more tears flowing, anxiously awaiting the moment that I would have some indication to how well he was doing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. He was intubated only long enough to get surfactant, and then was on bipap for 30 minutes- only because they thought he should be, and then he was on room air! Amazing!! --- As I am sure you are aware... most aren't! My OBGYN stopped by the room with him before he was whisped off to the NICU. My family by that time had made it there. I was glad they got to see him before he was all hooked up-- even if it was just a glance. That was very thoughtful. I don't remember how much sleep I got that night. I don't remember my husband going to the NICU and leaving me in my room, but I know that he did. I remember leaving my room to see him for the first time. I was overwhelmed by the fact that they asked me if I was "mom". All of the little things bothered me. He was so tiny and helpless... and perfect. I was lucky that I delivered in the hospital where I work. Even though I didn't know very many of the NICU nurses, I knew their supervisors and all of my managers/directors etc. came to check on us frequently. Word spreads quickly I suppose. Everyone was wonderful. I had familiar faces and people who knew me to talk to sometimes when I just needed to get out of the room. They aren't able to do much, but you just hate to leave them, even if you are just watching him sleep.... and we took hundreds of pictures.... to be able to take at least something home with us. I wasn't able to hold him until day 2. He liked being held. I was in Love instantly. My husband was too nervous other than to just look at him.. it took some time, but he came around. He was so tiny and fragile. Being discharged from the hospital made it so much harder. I stayed for 4 days because I had some renal issues related to the preeclampsia. It is crazy how it almost seems wrong that life outside of my bubble didn't stop because I needed it to! Bills still came, and dishes still piled up, and laundry still had to be done, and now I had a newfound chore of pumping every two hours that I didn't have before. (that would be a completely different story-- pumpling is hard core!) I can tell you that my credit is not what it once was! Some things just got away from me. --- NICU was hard.... harder than I thought it could be. I found myself feeling guilty about crying or being upset because I knew that my baby was doing much better than a lot of the other babies.... what should I have to cry about? There just wasn't anything about it that was easy! Not one bit! And no one really understood anything. Brayden was born February 29th 2009 and we were discharged April 6th 2009. I held my breathe during every test he had. Celebrated every NICU milestone and then all of the normal ones at home (much later of course). I have been blessed with a miracle. It doesn't stop once you get home. It is just easier. The whole process changes you forever, but I want you to know that you will get through it. You will look back on it often, and hopefully take the good from it. Brayden is perfect in every way now. He had minor surgery to repair hernias after we were discharged, You have a slow first year ahead of you. I know it is hard to even think that far ahead. It is true what they say... it goes by so fast! Brayden has done amazing! He is still very small for his age, but cognitively he is where he should be for his age (I think he may even be smarter!) He didn't have ROP or any Intracranial Hemmorages. I truely have been blessed with a miracle! I still look at him in awe of how far he has came. I hope my story has helped somehow. It is nice to get it all out. There is so much more. More than enyone else could possibly understand. Thank you. For posting, and then listening to me. -- Tiffany

Hi,I'm new to the nicu world.2 weeks ago I gave birth to a 26 weeker preemie.immediately she demanded a lot of oxygen from the jet machine and we were told she had bleeding in her brain.The doctors told us it was in two places of the brain that was very important to the walking,thinking,talking,etc..They said she would need early iintervention.I believe a lot of prayer goes along way,because now the bleeding has slowed and the swelling has gone down.Even though it doesn't mean she s not in the clearing,it still encourages me not to give up hope on her.Not to give in to the science part of life fully and remember that there is a spiritual part to.U and your family are in my prayers...These lil 1's are truly fighters....

Hi Cathy, I went through the same thing your going through. My daughter was born at only 23 weeks in July and was immediately put on a ventilator. They also found grade 2 bleeds. So I know exactly what your feeling. Your right these little one's are fighter's. After 4 long months she was finally able to come home,it was a roller coaster of emotions but don't loose hope or faith. Here's a little prayer I always prayed over her at night before leaving the NICU.

Dear Lord, please take care of her mind, body and spirit and please give all the nurses, doctors, and staff your wisdom and healing hand.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Thing1Thing2: I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins. I also lost my twin girls after they were born prematurely. Thank you for sharing your story, it was beautifully written.

Megan: Hello and welcome to share! I'm so sorry for the early birth and subsequent problems your sweet girl faced after her birth, but am so happy to hear that she is doing wonderfully now!

Gloria: Hello and welcome to Share! I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. It's so heartbreaking holding our little ones after they have gone on to heaven. It's amazing how perfect they are at such young gestations too, perfect yet tiny. Many hugs to you.

Tiffany: Hello and welcome to Share! Thank you for sharing your wonderful story, I'm so glad to hear that Brayden is doing amazing despite his early birth! He really sounds like a fighter! I would love to hear more about him!

cathyd173bx: Hello and welcome to Share! I'm so sorry to hear that your little one is having a rough go of it in the NICU. I hope that she continues to improve and prove all the doctors wrong!

Welcome! I'm so thankful that recently so many folks have found Share and shared their story... though it's always bittersweet to have to find Share either from a complicated pregnancy or loss of a little one. I look forward to getting to know everyone and hope that Share can be as an amazing support to you as it has to me.

Lauren

Hello everyone, my name is Nadine and I just gave birth to a little girl Shelore who was 1lb 9 oz. She is 3 days old now and breathing on her own. I have 7 other full term children and this is my first preemie. I am so frustrated and confused because when I go see her in the NICU I try to understand what is going on and I ask a lot of questions. I feel so helpless and I wish I could hold her. Everytime I hear one sound on the monitors on her I feel like my heart is about to stop. This is my fiancee's first child and i don't have a clue as to what to do to help us both cope, and stay positive.Please help..

Hello and welcome to Share. First of all, congratulations on the birth of your sweet Shelore! Going into the NICU is such an overwhelming experience for new mommies. There's a whole other lingo, a whole other way of caring for the baby and then not even being able to do all the typical "mommy" things that parents of full term babies get to do. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. You can get through it one day at a time. If you're interested, here's a link to a folder in the parent to parent section where other moms with little ones in the NICU post their questions and concerns as well as their victories. I hope that it helps, in the meantime you could also start a blog and other preemie moms can pop in and give you support and maybe answer some of your questions! Many hugs and prayers that your sweet girl continues to improve!

http://shareyourstory.org/webx/Share%20Home/Parent%20To%20Parent/InTheNICU/

Stacy

Hello! My name is Michelle and I was born and raised in Phoenix, AZ but currently reside in Everett, WA and will soon be moving back to Phoenix as soon as our little one is born and able to go home. I'm 24 years old and also have a soon to be six year old son who also was born prematurely. I'm currently in the hospital on bedrest and have been for the past two months. My EDD is June 4th (my fiancees birthday and also the day after my birthday) but I think I will be having her within the next few weeks. This has been a completely emotional journey and I'm glad I can now share it with women who can relate. I look forward to reading more of your stories and walking in the next walk!! Thank you March of Dimes!

Hi Michelle,
Welcome to share!! This is a great place to find support while you are on bed rest. I have not had to experience this but there is a section On this site just devoted to bed rest. I am wishing you Strength and peace to get thru the remainder of your pregnancy and hopefully reach full term
Thanks for sharing your story
Brooke

Welcome to Share, Michelle! Hang in there, I know that bed rest is tough! This is a great place to find support! Hang in there!

Katie

I just recently started working with March of Dimes. My daughter in 02/07/2009 was born @ 24 weeks weighing in 1lb 8ozs, measured 13 1/2 inches long.
Thank God she had less problems than usual premature babies have. For instance, she didn't have brain hemorrhage but she did have heart murmur which needed to be closed twice. On the 2nd treatment, she was fine. Her lungs were undeveloped. She was on a ventilator for over 2 months and was on extra machinery which gave her extra 460 breaths per minute. Due to her being on the ventilator for so long, she has BPD which is severe damaged to her lung tissues. But the doctors say that once she turns 7 years old, it'll heal by itself. The doctors recommended steroids to strengthen her lungs due to the time spend of her being in the ventilator for so long, but of course there was side effects, as they explained. There's risks of neonatal problems, she'll probably be slow in learning.
I prayed and believed also had the biggest faith ever to let go and let GOD! God had a reason for her to go through this experience. We don't understand as of yet but we will soon.
Well she was in NICU for 4 months in total, after that, she came home with a cannula which she was on for about a month and 10 days. Now she's a typical 3 year old who knows her colors, shapes, alphabets, numbers and many other things that amazes my family and I and also everyone who encounters her. She's been a tremendous blessing in our lives. She goes to her follow up specialists and so far so good. There's minor issues like she doesn't have strength in one leg which we are hoping to work hard with it this summer.
God has been faithful to our family and we see His glory on my miracle daughter.
She's been a blessing to all who encounters her as well.
 

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I have photos of when she was born and now, how can I upload these photos?

Hi Cathy,

I know what you are going through, my daughter was born at 24 weeker, 1lb 8ozs and measured 13 1/2 inches long, and her poor tiny lungs were undeveloped and she was on ventilator for 2 months and on the 2nd month, she was on the Jet machine. They even gave her steroids and mentioned that there was side effects to it, but the FAITH in God was so strong by that time that it went through one ear and out the other. I let Go and let GOD do His work!
God has reasons why we go through these situations, but as long as you keep your Faith on Him, there's no one or nothing will stand in His way!!!!!

She was in the NICU for 4 months, and I thank my daughter's nurses, doctors and staff that helped us through this tough emotional roller coaster time! Every 2 months, we go and see the nurses and the doctors so they can see how big she's getting. They really appreciate it when the babies go back to the NICU to see their progressions!!!

My prayers go out to you and your little one!!!! They are definitely are true fighters.

Welcome to Share and congrats on your daughter! You two have been through so much! I am happy to hear that she is healthy!

Katie

Hello and welcome to Share! I'm glad to hear that she is doing well and the doctors are hopeful that she will outgrow her lung problems in a few years! It sounds like you've got one tough little girl on your hands! I'd love to hear more about her!
Stacy

I'm Shawron. I'm 24 wks pregnant with my second child that has duodenal atresia and will have surgery most likely the day after she is born.

I'm very thankful to have found this site. My heart goes out to those that have lost a child/children.

Hello everyone! Im very new to the March of Dimes.

My name is Clairissa Brown, I turn 21 in 3 days and I have three wonderful children. I have been married to my husband for five years this December. Although our story is two years old I would love to share our story with our second child.

Aiden was born on 3/17/10. Our St. Pattys Day Gift He weighed in at 3lbs 13oz at 31weeks. He was the size of my best friends hand and we loved him so much. He was such a fighter from day 1. He spent 29 days in the hospital and we saw him almost everyday(we also had a 1 year old.). Today he is 2 years old. And is now a Big brother himself to a little sister who was born a couple weeks early herself. We are so blessed with our children and I wish I could help others get through this tough time. GOD IS GOOD!!!

Hello. My name is Robin and my husband and I welcomed our baby boy Brayden on March 29. Despite an uncomplicated pregnancy, during delivery Brayden aspirated amniotic fluid which caused his lungs and circulatory system to fail to convert from fetal functions upon birth. As such he was without oxygen for several minutes. I barley saw him for 30 seconds as the team of specialists rushed him to another hospital, Sunrise Childrens in Las Vegas, for cooling therapy in an attempt to save his life as well as preserve his brain and other organs from further damage. Brayden survived the critical day 5-6 milestone and is progressing well. We are still waiting to find out if his brain or other organs suffered permenant damage. However, he finally had the ventilator and most of his IVs removed yesterday so we finally got to hold him for the first time today! We still have a long way to go but are so grateful for the progress made!

Welcome to Share, Shawron! This is such a great site for support, keep us posted on your little girl!!!

Clairissa-I am so happy to hear that your little guy is doing so well after an early start!

Robin-That is great news that Brayden is off the vent of most of his IVs!!! Keep us posted on his progress!!!

Katie

Shawron: Hello and welcome to Share! I'm so sorry for your daughter's prenatal diagnosis of DA, I'm sure you are so scared for what the future will bring. So glad that you've found us, there's a great community here with many people that have walked this path before you. Many hugs!

Clairissa: Hello and welcome to Share! That's so wonderful to hear that Aiden and his little sister are doing fabulously despite their early arrivals! I look forward to reading more about your little fighters!

Robin: Hello and welcome to Share! Oh goodness, that sounds like a very scary start for your son Brayden! I'm so glad that the doctors were quick in action to give him the best chance possible. What a sweet moment that was holding Brayden for the first time, a moment you will forever remember! Keep us posted on his progress when you can!

Helllooooo!!! its me ESMIE again.. im back!!!! so my miracle baby is now 9 months.. and he is big and healthy and so active... just a great baby... so now im going for my second full term baby... im now 19 weeks preggo.. and ITS A GIRL:)!!!.. had my cerclage already at 14 weeks.. started my P17 shots yesterday and had a very theral scan yesterday aswell..and according to my DR... all looks great... so yes very happy camper here!! and here we go to full term!!!! have a great day everyone... hi stacy.. hi jackie...

Welcome back! Thanks for the update, glad things are going well!

Katie

Hey Esmie, welcome back!! I can't believe your little guy is already 9 months old!! Congrats on a little girl this time!! Praying for a full 40 weeks for this little one!!
Stacy

Hello! New here- just posted our "short story" (aka- ramblings of our story)... hoping to connect with other families who can relate. Especially as we consider the future- how can you put your heart back out there and take a chance on another baby in the future, knowing the risks of going through the same complications? Just trying to sort out if I would ever want to take that chance again, while thoroughly savoring every moment we have with our beautiful baby boy

Hi everyone! Just joined the site today and trying to navigate my way through everything. My first baby boy has been in the NICU for 3 weeks and was born at 27 weeks. I look forward to meeting new people as well as providing support to those in need of it...together we will make it through!

Welcome to Share! We are glad you found us here! This is a great site to find support during and after your NICU stay.

Katie

HI my name is stacey and i have a son here. I am looking for som help you can e-mail me at bhotladyintown@aol.com