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PAULA

josie1204 - 03:12am Mar 30, 2012 EST

My baby Paula was born at 25the weeks. Since her birth my home was the hospital. Seeing her fight to survive day by day. Since her birth she had intestinal problems struggling with her feeds. She went through two surgery her heart murmur and her intestine. Once she had her intestine surgery she was doing well. I carried her everyday and every minute I could we did kangaroo everyday. Paula was a joy and always fought with the nurses and R.T she would hate her nasalcanela and her feeding tube. She would always take it off and make the nurses run to put it back on. The nurses would just laugh since she always did what she wanted and with her small body weighing 3pnds and 6ounces she would put a fight while doing her cares. The nurses loved her so much she caught their attention since she was such a fighter. My baby was doing great doctors would tell me she will be coming home soon. After 2mnths my baby died unexpected within minutes. She died on march 17 2012 morning. Doctors say it was a disease called NEC which we never new she had. Now all our dreams are gone and I can't cope with her death since doctors thought she was doing great and coming home in 3 weeks. I miss my baby and still in shock I keeping thinking its a bad dream. She was going to be taken off her oxygen already and all she had to do was grow. I feel alone and confused since I don't understand what happen. My husband and I are trying to cope but its hard. She was our first baby after trying 6yrs and now she is gone. My little angel.

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(older msg: 1)

KHolley - Mar 30, 2012 3:25 pm (#2 Total: 10)

Welcome to Share. I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Paula. This is a great place to find comfort and understanding. We are all here for you.

Katie

NathansMom13 - Mar 30, 2012 5:11 pm (#3 Total: 10)

Come to ShareUnion 2012: It's the BEST weekend ever!!!

Hi and welcome to Share. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort from all of us here on Share.
Laura

josie1204 - Apr 1, 2012 3:09 am (#4 Total: 10)

I thank you for your kind words. I don't feel alone knowing their are more mommies whom have been through this pain and share their stories. My baby will be bueried on Monday and I don't know how I will be that day. I am scared and sad.

lvazquez - Apr 1, 2012 6:58 pm (#5 Total: 10)

Mom to Donovyn (32 weeker), Tristyn (34 weeker), and Naethyn (30 weeker born sleeping)

I will be keeping you and your family in my closest of thoughts tomorrow. I wish there was something more that I could say that could take some of the pain away. I remember going to pick up my son's ashes and we were all just in a daze. Be gentle with yourself and remember that people have good intentions with their words.

Wishing you strength,

Lindsay

brookeg - Apr 2, 2012 12:55 am (#6 Total: 10)

I will thinking of you tomorrow. I am wishing you peace and strength to get thru these days. Just know you are not alone in your thoughts
Brooke

carolyn72 - Apr 7, 2012 8:35 pm (#7 Total: 10)

I am so sorry. My son died of nec. It is so quick. This time is hard and then over the next wile there will be glimmers of hope again. My son died nov 16-2010. We now even laugh again. The grief may hit you at times unexpectedly at odd occasions. Be kind to yourself. It happens, you are very normal. Parents are just not geared to handle dead children, it is out of natural order. So don 't worry aout your reactions or what people think. Thinking about your family in my prayers.

Ann Wilkie - Apr 7, 2012 9:38 pm (#8 Total: 10)

I can't feel how you are feeling right now. I cried like a baby reading your story. You might be very angry or lost right now but hang in there. Hold your husband's hand, hug him and cry together. Your hearts will beat regularly again if you give it some time. I have a baby in the NICU and I pray everyday that he will make it home.

cathyd173bx - Apr 12, 2012 2:11 am (#9 Total: 10)

So sorry for your loss..Hugs...I had my charlize on march 12,2012 @ 26 weeks.she had a preferation(small hole in gut) acouple of weeks ago to where we almost lost her.They put a drain in her side and Ive been noticing as well as her dad that her side had beening turning blue.When we ask the docs they say its just bruising or"wait and see process".Which kept driving us insane.So now come to found out they now say she has NEC but they have to deal with her brain issue which she 'll be sent to another well know children's hospital.I'm glad that shes going there not because they are said to be the best but also because the more we pressed the docs the more they seem to not know or have an answer for this thing she suddenly diagnosed with.I'm deathly afraid that my charli may not make it only because we were this close to lossing her the 1st Intestinal surgery.My heart and prayers go out to you and yours...xoxoxox

mrsmaxson - Apr 13, 2012 1:50 am (#10 Total: 10)

Heartbroken

I'm sorry I missed your original post. Losing a child is devastating. Losing one after trying for so long is unthinkable! My twin sons, who were conceived after three cycles of IVF died shortly after birth. It still comes as a shock sometimes that they were here then gone so quickly.

Paula was beautiful. My heart just breaks that she was gone so quickly. Just try to take life one breath at a time. It's all we can do.

Wishing you hope and healing,
Shannon

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