Our Twins

SarieP - 07:43pm May 3, 2012 EST

My husband, Charlie, and I tried for 11 months to get pregnant. We found out shortly after we started TTC that we had some problems and needed medical help. We began treatments of all kinds and eventually it lead to IVF. We transfered two embryos and became pregnant. Once the idea of having twins settled in we became very excited. My pregnancy was perfect and I had no problems. We found out at 16 weeks that we were having a girl, Raegan Lila, and a boy, Liam Charles. The weekend before I gave birth was uneventful and completely normal. On Tues Apr 26, 2011 I went in for a normal OB appt. My dr checked my cervix and said I was a "fingertip" dialated and when he did an ultrasound he saw that Raegan's foot was sitting right above my cervix. I was rushed to the hospital where they were going to try and keep my babies inside for as long as possible. I don't really remember everything about the two days I was in the hospital but I do remember them saying that Raegan's bag was bulging and I would have to deliver soon. I received steriod shots to mature their lungs and I was "upside down" on bedrest. Two days after arriving in the hospital my contractions got really intense and the dr decided to take the babies. Raegan and Liam were born on Apr 28, 2011 at 4:49 and 4:51 via c-section. I was 25 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Raegan was 1lb 9.5oz and 13 3/4 inches long. She came out crying. Liam was 1lb 15oz and 14.5 inches long. He was also crying. They took them immediatley to the NICU where they were intubated. After I recovered a little we were able to go see them. They were so tiny. The nurses said they were doing well for now and that they were actually a little big for twins at this gestational age. I don't really remember if anyone actually explained to us what it would be like for them outside of me. That night was fine but the next afternoon we went down to see them and we told they were "working on your daughter" and that the dr would come and get us when we could come back. About 30 minutes later we found out that Raegan had passed away. This was the worst moment of our lives. I couldn't believe it was happening. We went down to see her and it was awful. My baby girl was gone and NOTHING I did would bring her back. The next day things took a turn for the worse with Liam and he required A LOT of medical intervention to survive. A week after he was born, our insurance company made us have him transfered to CHKD. He was in the NICU for a total of 100 days. He had a PDA ligation and went back and forth on the HFNC and regular NC as well as numerous other preemie issues. He had problems keeping his heart rate up when eating so that is what kept him in the NICU for so long. When he finally came home on his due date we brought him home on oxygen. He remained on oxygen at home for almost 3 months before he was finally weaned off of it. Liam just turned 1 a few days ago and he is a true miracle. He has NO issues from being a preemie (knock on wood). He just had an xray done of his lungs and they said they are completely normal. He is right on track developmentally and is a really smart baby. If it wasn't for him I don't know where we would be. Losing our daughter was tragic and I still cry about it now and wish I could change it. Liam is the greatest baby and we love him so much. The NICU was an awful experience that I would not wish on anyone but the nurses saved our baby boy!