My Angel BreeAnna Nicole

afluharty - 01:38am May 6, 2012 EST

My Name is Amy and in December of 1993 I found out at the of 18 is was pregnant with my first child. I was young and very scared. I had a great pregnancy. All my check ups were wonderful, baby growing and all was well. Never did I have any reason to think that I would not bring home a beautiful baby girl at the end of August. It was the 22nd of Aug and I had told my sister I wasn't feeling the baby move. We both figured I was young and crazy. We decided that if by morning I felt the same we would call the doctor. In the morning we called and they said get to the hospital. The ob nurse brought in the ultrasound machine and what seemed like hours went by without her saying a word. She finally said she would get the doctor cause she was having trouble with the machine. It was portable so I just thought it was broke. He came in and in a matter of minutes I found out that my baby had no heart beat. I was sent home and told to come back in the morning to start labor. I didn't know what to think. He had no explanation for her dying. I went back to the hospital on the morning of the 24th and started labor. It seemed to last forever. The entire time I was hoping and praying they were wrong. On August 25, 1994 I finally got to hold my beautiful baby girl. She was amazing. Ten amazing fingers and ten amazing toes and head full of black hair. I held her for hours and finally I had to hand her over to the nurse. Knowing that I would never see and hold her again was unbearable. Come to find out I have Lupus Anticoagulant Syndrome. Because of that when I am pregnant I have to take 2 shots a day of a blood thinner. Now I am 36 with 3 amazing children and 1 wonderful stepson. It's been 18 years and I miss her everyday and also I am very thankful to her.