Rebekah Joy Kulm born April 18, 2005 at 6:39 pm entered the Lord's arms at 7:50 pm

ericka&jarett - 08:56am Apr 24, 2005 EST

http://rebekah.kulm.org

Well our precious baby girl has passed on to her Heavenly Home. She is now in Heaven dancing before Jesus and playing with her Grandpa Ray. We will see her one day soon.

Rebekah Joy was born on 4/18/05 at 6:39 pm and passed on at 7:50 pm. She was born at 24 weeks and was not due until August 7,2005. As her name says, she was a Joy to have even if only for a little while. Jarett and I were able to hold her from about 7 pm until 4:30 this afternoon. She weighed in at 1 lb 3 oz and 11 1/2 inches.

Monday the 18th at 2 pm Had sharp pains and left work early as the pains were constant and I was getting a little concerned. Had a discharge for several days, but didn't really get too concerned about it since that's normal. (Now I know it must have been my mucus plug and not just the normal discharge) I was waiting for the nurse to call when hubby came home. I went to the bathroom and saw blood told hubby if the nurse doesn't call me in a min we are hospital bound. Just than the nurse called, I told her that I had some blood now with the discharge and she said come into the office.

I got there did the routine things and when they tested my urine it was all over the place with issues. My bp was high and blood count was also. Nurse came in and measured me and listened for Rebekah's heartbeat and it was all good, went to check my cervix for an infection and too much fluid to even check, so she went me to the doctor in the ultrasound. Rebekah's heart was beating strong and she was moving all over the place, the placenta looked good and in tact and the amniotic fluid was plenty. She was sending me to the hospital 5 mins away for bloodwoork.

We headed out and during the drive my pain got a bit worst and more frequent, I timed these as I did the last hour when I was still home and they were 2 mins apart and home they were 3-4 mins apart. We got into the hospital and at the receptionist desk asked for directions to Labor and Delivery she got us a wheelchair as I was getting light headed. We got to the 3rd floor and waited to be admitted. I was sitting in pain and it was getting worse by the second and I felt really faint. She got me into a room finally (I already had pre-admission paperwork filled out, no clue why they didn't have it in the computer already) and the nurse told me to get undressed into a gown and lay in bed after the urine specimen was taken. I got into the bathroom and couldn't get the specimen. But in a sec felt some fluid so caught it but than it kept coming and coming, told hubby to get the nurse my water just broke. I felt dizzy so had hubby help me get the gown on and get in bed. Asked for 2 wet cloths for my face and was still hot so the nurse got me a fan. I was in pain and scared to death. I said I felt like I needed to push and the nurse came running and said hold it back. She got the on-call doctor to come and meet us in the delivery room.

They wheeled me to the delivery room 2 doors away and I felt the same urge again. Got into the room they asked to move from one bed to the other and was in the middle of a contraction so had to wait it out. I than moved over to the other bed and said I feel a lot of pressure and something came out slightly. (Later found out from my hubby it was the Rebekah's feet) and the doctor yelled for all the nurses to stop what they were doing as the baby was in the canal. The broke the bed down and got me ready to deliver. Within about 5 mins she was delivered and rushed to the table for exam, born at 6:39 pm.

Jarett went over about 5 mins later after we were done having a cry and praying hard. He held Rebekah's hands and prayed and cried. He came over to me and held my hands as I cried and just begged the Lord to please give her a chance. They came over and said we are sorry she had no heartbeat. Than a min later they said we found her heartbeat and we are trying to get her to breathe. The bagged her and than tried a tube down her to get her lungs to inflate. The ped said do you want us to continue and so forth, we said do all you can do for her. The nurse came over a few mins later and explained more of what was going on and that they can't get her lungs inflated but her heart was still beating. They continued trying for a few more mins. Than every parents nightmare, they came and said they tried everything but she is not breathing and her heart was slowing down. They said we could hold her before she passed and so they put a hat on her and wrapped her up and brought her to us. What can I say, I never saw a more perfect, beautiful little girl in all my life. She has long feet and hands, all 10 fingers and 10 toes. Dark hair and long legs. She had blonde around the scalp of her head and the tiniest little ears. My heart was no longer my own or my hubby's but our beautiful DAUGHTER's.

We held her from around 7 on. We got to say how much we loved her, dedicated her to God and praised God for her, even though it was only for a little time. At 7:50 they pronounced her (didn't find out until today the official time) but we were allowed to have her in the room as long as we wanted. We kept her from that point until 4:30 pm the 19th. I held her mostly, but Jarett did hold her several times thoughout the course of the time with her. Our Pastors came around midnight to come and pray for us and for Rebekah. Than it was just the 3 of us again, with an occassional nurse coming for blood pressure and temp checks on me. Jarett took a nap to get rid of a horrible headache while I sat just looking at my beautiful daughter. When he woke up he came and sat on the bed with me and read some scriptures.

By 4 am, Jarett said we should get some sleep since we were having a few visitors in a few hours. I got cozy with Rebekah and he asked if I would be ok with her and I said definately. He hit the pull out chair while my baby girl and I just snuggled on the bed in my arm. I slept til about 7 until the nurse came in to check on me and said you ok with the baby and just getting some sleep, that's good. I was up after that, because then she presented me with a grief folder of information. I read through the book they included and of course cried while holding Rebekah.

At 9 am the nurse brought in 2 trays of food and asked how we all were doing. By 10 our Pastor returned to pray and visit again. By 10:30 another church member came to visit and around 1 my friend came to visit with us also. The nurse came in around 2 and said that she would need to take the baby soon, told her my mom was coming and she said ok, we can wait. My mom came around 2:30 or so and she of course couldn't believe we had the baby in the room, so Jarett got up and handed my mom her granddaughter and she cried, I cried and Jarett cried. It was beautiful to see my daughter held by my mom. At around 4 Jarett asked if I was ready to let her go to with the nurse. I said in a few mins.

The nurse came in to answer some questions (I had no infections, the fluid had too much blood to test that, the whole thing was perfect, but our baby girl's lungs were only formed 22 weeks instead of 24 like my due date placed me) and so I started my love yous with Rebekah. I handed her to Jarett and he held her and gave her a kiss, than he handed her back to me and I held her and kissed her hands, feet and head many times. I cried and cried and the nurse said take your time. I really didn't want to let my baby girl go. I told her I loved her and that Mommy and Daddy will always love her and with that gave her my final kiss on the head. I handed her to Jarett and he kissed her head and told her he loved her and than passed her to my mom. My mom held her and just marveled and cried at the sight of her. She kissed her and than Jarett took her back to hand to the nurse. The nurse said she is in good hands and she really is a perfect baby. And with that we saw our baby girl, Rebekah Joy Kulm wheeled away in the crib.

I had told Jarett that once we had to do the hand off, I had to get out of there fast. He agreed and so while the nurse was getting my papers after taking Rebekah, I went and got changed to go. Got some instructions and my precious baby box filled with Rebekah momentos and a baby blanket that was crocheted by volunteers we were off to the car.

It fully hasn't hit me just yet as to what happened. I know it will probably never really fully hit me and that's ok really. We will have more children, we know that is a promise from the Lord for us. Rebekah will always be in our hearts and our first born child. She will always be loved and missed on her birthday the 18th of April (6 days after her mommy's)

So with this I say goodnight my precious baby daughter, may the Lord keep you in His care always and we (Mommy, Daddy, Siblings and Grandparents and more) will see you soon baby girl. You be a good girl and know you will always be loved and missed. Love your mommy and daddy.